TW: negative self-talk
Alyssa politely faced Vara'l and gave him a nod as well. Welp, this was it, she supposed. "Sir," she replied. "Aye, sir, the situation is under control. Lieutenant Commander Kestrel, Lieutenant K'Tann, Lieutenant Junior Grade Morgan and yourself are the heroes in this situation. They all played their parts beautifully and de-escalated the situation far beyond what I could do." Just then - something hit Alyssa which she never thought would hit her - impostor syndrome.* "I give full credit to you and the other members of my team for averting the crisis, sir," *Alyssa said, defeated. "I shall provide a full written report in detail if you'd like. In the meantime, sir, do you have any other orders for me? It appears I'm really... not... needed here right now." With that, while Alyssa's face, voice and demeanor remained professional and unphased, a tear ran down her cheek.
Alyssa hadn't felt like this in years - she'd only endured the feeling of not being needed in her childhood and crucial developmental years. This wasn't anywhere near what she felt like she was supposed to be. Eshen, Alyx, Timi and Vara'l did all the work, and all she did was stumble behind. What was up with her today?! Why wasn't she on her ballgame like she always was?! Since the accident that took away her eye, she never had a bad day! Why here?! Why now?! And why when she was managing a team?!
3