"Med Bay, this is the command deck. There seems to be some kind of mania affecting officers. Cause unknown. At least three affected individuals here. Likely more elsewhere on the station."
[Comms] "This is Commander Aisut, Yellow Alert. I repeat, Yellow Alert. All civilians to their accommodation, all officers to report to their stations. Security, Medical, begin pathogen procedures. I repeat, begin pathogen procedures."
[COMMS] "Lieutenant Junior Grade Saren tr'Lareth to medbay - two of our science officers are exhibiting symptoms of some sickness in the science labs. Their skin is flushed and they are, uh... speaking in tongues. At least one of them has a swollen arm."(edited)
[COMMS] "Ens. Vanik, Engineering. There are at least 5 infected crew members in Main Engineering. I am headed to the Medical Bay and awaiting orders. I do not believe I am infected."
[COMMS] "Security to the bridge! The lights are out in the entertainment promenade! The temperature is rising! Repeat, the lights are out and temperature rising!"
[COMMS] "Starfleet security to engineering. Whoever is down there messing with the lights and the temperature. We know what you're doing. Your little revolution is over. Return the controls to their correct parameters and turn yourselves in while it's wise to do so."
[COMMS] "Attention FleetStar dipshits..... I don't give a shit. I proclaim this station under the supreme rule of the Ancient Psychic Cosmic Tandem War Elephant."(edited)
[COMMS] "See what you can do, lieutenant. To everyone else in the engineering wing, this is your warning. Stand down and return the starbase to its normal parameters.This is an order."(edited)
[COMMS] "Let me know if you need command override codes, Lieutenant Grimur. I need those lights back on. I might be able to cope with heat but I don't want to become slow roast Denodorihulcan."
[COMMS] "LET THIS BE YOUR FINAL WARNING OLD MAN! IF YA'LL DON'T SURRENDER AND PLEDGE LOYALTY TO ME RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO-- [Commbadge has been disabled.]"
[COMMS] “This is Ensign Aria! I apologize for a previous message broadcasted through my commbadge due to a patient. I will take this opportunity to remind the uninfected to avoid contact with infected. Thank you!”
[COMMS] "Nooo, but if only a most captivating and brilliant scientist could grace us with his words to address the cadet's pressing and profound scientific inquiry!"
[COMMS] "Ens. Vanik to OPS or Command, it appears that Lieutenant Allen, Lieutenant K'Tann, Lieutenant Maya Umali, and Lieutenant Commander Rozamal are infected and present in Main Engineering. Myself and Lieutenant Grimur are attempting to secure Main Engineering. Please advise how we are to proceed."
[COMMS] "Hell no, I'm fine as fuck, thank you very much, not infected, just fine, the only thing infecting me currently is that I haven't heard what a purple puppy's favorite pizza is. And have you seen the yellow sign? For we all have to, at some point..."
[COMMS] "Received, commander. Thank you - that should do the trick, at least for now. Advise for all uninfected to don personal protective equipment, masks, gloves, the whole nine yards, immediately."
[COMMS] "Ooookay, but can we pleaaaase hold off on engineering, because I'm like, one of the only guys here, and I'm fine, by the way, that was a soft-shell crab dream, okay?"
"Lieutenant Kvig to the command deck, the infected engineering crew has been successfully transported and Ensign Vanik and I are starting work on restoring station systems to their normal parameters. And if I may ask, when was there an addition to the brig installed for overly aroused crewmembers?"
[COMMS] “If we can get a lock on these things, we can get infected isolated to the brig a lot easier than just going off assumption. Thanks for the help, Lieutenant! Stay safe down there!”
[COMMS] "Med Bay from Commander Aisut, prepare for the arrival of contaminated cargo for analysis. We'll erect a forcefield around its beam location prior to arrival to prevent an outbreak."
[COMMS] "This is Lieutenant Grimur to Security, one of the Entertainment Sector's replicators is on the fritz and we believe it is being caused by an infected crewmember interfacing with the replicator. Requesting someone to check out the replicator in question, over."(edited)
[COMMS] "Lieutenant Junior Grade Saren tr'Lareth. We've found an acidic solution with high enough concentration to dissolve the eggs of these parasites. Are there any more scripts somewhere? We should gather them in one place to exe-- to get rid of."
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