Star Trek: Eventide 777

Namika ran a hand through her short locks as she saw the entered the quarters. Apparently she hadn’t been assigned a roommate yet. Perhaps that was for the better. She was absolutely not in the mood to meet or talk to anyone. Dismay was boiling inside of her and quickly turning into proper anger the longer she thought about it. With a huff, she threw her luggage onto her new bed and then she threw herself right after it, landing on the mattress. Isaac and her had never been perfect. They had been a nice couple, yes, but not perfect. Who was perfect, though? Nobody was fucking perfect! Isaac was nice, caring, sociable, funny… It had simply made sense to love him! Except logical reasons to love someone weren’t enough to make someone fall in love, and they both knew it. Mika stared at the ceiling. Now she was here. Because of him. Because she’d requested a transfer to stay close to him. What the hell? They had broken up on the shuttle. Pathetic, yes. Neither of them had been able to cry then, but Mika felt tears in her eyes now. Their love had died almost a year ago, they had just never been able to admit it. She was sure it was better this way, but she found it difficult not to curse herself for requesting this stupid transfer. She’d been happy on the Tyrga! Now, she had to settle in all over again. “Fuck,” she said aloud to the ceiling, with feeling.

5

After a few moments of pitying herself, she decided that it would do her no good. With a huff, she stood up from her bed. She changed into a red sweater and some black jeans, and headed outside. If she was already here, she should get to know the station at least.

Namika was in a surprisingly good mood when she returned back to her quarters. She set up the beautiful plant in her quarters and watered it with a small smile. Then, she took a nicotine substitute pill to trick her mind into thinking she’d smoked a cigarette and then she started further decorating her quarters. She’d thought that this posting would be a disaster! However, today she’d met an interesting young scientist, a flower woman who was apparently Ken Richards’ sister, and the Captain who was very companionable and had even agreed to run with her through a holoprogram. Wasn’t that fun?! As she put up a picture of her little brother, she thought that maybe this posting wasn’t so bad after all.

When Namika left her quarters this time around to meet up with Captain Mo by the holodecks, she was dressed in her uniform.

[D] Namika woke up to the words ‘One day more — Another day, another destiny!’ Because she had her alarm sounds set to a playlist of Musical score tracks and Klingon Opera. She grumbled something unintelligible in Spanish and turned to the other side. Slowly but surely, she blinked her eyes open. “Computer,” she slurred, “Shut off alarm.” The computer complied and Namika stayed in bed for a mother five seconds before finally willing herself up. ‘Les Mis’ was one of her favorite musicals. She’d loved it so much that Isaac had once programmed a holoprogram for her that would allow her to star in the musical herself. Namika went into the bathroom and cursed herself for thinking about Isaac first thing in the morning. She went to take a sonic shower and brush her teeth and busied herself with thinking about other things as she put on her uniform. Today, she was going to check out the Eventide bridge if she got the chance! She also still needed to get her physical, and she wanted to say hi to Doctor Richards. A semi-full schedule. That would keep her mind busy. She could also ask around if anyone needed a small lift via shuttle. It was always good to help and to introduce yourself to people! Wondering when Captain Mo would find the time for a holoadventure again, she left her quarters.

And thus, Captain Mo found time for a holoadventure again! [PADD]

To: Lt. JG. Namika Grey From: Captain Mephistopheles Mo If you are perchance free any time soon to settle that bet, I have space in my schedule at 1900 hours. - Captain Mephistopheles Mo, Commander of Station 777

(edited)

Namika was lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling and feeling utterly unmotivated to decorate her pitifully empty room. (Mood.) She was just wondering whether maybe she should go down to the shuttle bay, see if she could do some shuttle runs even though she was off duty… When suddenly her PADD gave a chime! Mika sat up and reached for the device, looking over the message quickly. And then she read it again with a smirk. Perhaps this evening wasn’t going to be so boring after all… [PADD]

To: Captain Mephistopheles Mo From: Lt. JG. Namika Grey 1900 hours at the holodeck. You’re on, Sir! - Namika Grey, helmsman P.S. Bring the jacket!

[PADD]

To: Lt. JG. Namika Grey From: Captain Mephistopheles Mo I will be there. - Captain Mephistopheles Mo, Commander of Station 777 P.S. Only if you also wear something cool. Equivalent exchange.

1

“You bet your semi-Ferengi ass I’ll be wearing something cool,” she muttered. However, she did not send that to the station Commander. [PADD]

To: Captain Mephistopheles Mo From: Lt. JG. Namika Grey Sounds fair. See you there, Sir. - Namika Grey, helmsman

Namika threw on a long-sleeved blouse that always gave her pirate vibes, and a leather corset over it, because why the hell not go fancy goth? After all, it was a special occasion, right? And Mo had told her to wear something cool. Then, she slipped into a white pair of leather pants with protective knee pads — even though the holodeck should prevent any injuries, it was always better to be safe than sorry. Besides, Mo had hurt himself last time, maybe not take risks. — and with that a pair of heavy leather plateau boots. (Not that she needed the extra height when it came to Mo, but it did give her that nice boost of confidence.) The boots were old and the leather worn with creases; she’d gotten them back when she’d rode her very first hoverbike over the fields of New Lima. It felt only fair to wear them now.  Then, the grabbed her helmet from her shelf. Usually those were provided by the holodeck program alongside the bike, but Namika didn’t like to have to wear contacts, so she had this special helmet with a visor that would also act as a pair of glasses. It had not been cheap, but totally worth it.  With that absolute iconic fit, helmet under her arm, she left her quarters.

2

After coming back from the holodeck, she’d tried to go to bed. “Computer, start personal log, Stardate 89393.3682.” Namika sighed. She was once again lying awake late at night, unable to fall asleep. Alone in her bed. Why did it bother her so much? She hoped to find some clarity by just dropping her thoughts into a personal log.   “Today was nice. Spending time with the Captain was great. He’s super cool, funny, kind of amazing actually. To be honest, I’m super tired, after that hoverbike race.”  There was a pause. “And yet, I can’t seem to find any sleep. I just… I miss him. For some reason. Or maybe I don’t miss him, maybe I just miss the idea of him. I get this… this stupid urge to just shoot him a message and tell him. ‘Hey, Isaac, I miss you. Let’s meet up?’ Carajo, I’m such an idiot. That would contradict everything that I’ve told him before. It’s just… I don’t get it. He was so… perfect. I mean he was handsome and strong, we were pretty much always on the same wavelength. He kept me grounded, he was always kind, always helpful, always caring, always… Mierda, always the boyfriend everyone dreamt of. He wasn’t clingy, but he was always there when I needed him and I mean sure, there were things I disliked. Like the way he always wanted to shower first. Or the way he always wanted me to go meet his friends. But… They were usually nice, so I can’t even complain. I just… It wasn’t him who messed up. It was me.”

21:13

She stared at her ceiling, whispering, “It was me. I broke it. I was too focussed on my career. I was too… I don’t know. Maybe I was not enough. He gave me so much, and yet there I was, asking for more, when he for once was the one trying to put his career first. I’m so fucking selfish, fuck. Am I just so… so difficult to love? …Maybe I’m impossible to love.” There was a long pause. Namika felt tears stinging in her eyes. She covered her face with her arm and blinked them away. If she started crying over Isaac now, it would only make things worse. God, she felt so pathetic.  “Computer,” she said, “Delete that log entry. Stop recording.”

4

21:16

Miraculously, Namika made it through the night, actually caught like 5 hours of sleep or something before she left her quarters again in the morning for her shift.

Namika returned from the utility ring, a box of hash cookies underneath her arm. She was dressed in her uniform still, and she dropped the box of cookies on the table in the middle of the living area — in favour of going over to the replicator. “Baked potatoes and stuffed rocoto chilis,” she ordered. She already knew it wouldn’t be the same as cooking it herself, but she didn’t have any ingredients at the moment, so she’d have to make peace with replicated food.

And not long after Namika got back to her quarters, the doors opened once again. A tall and pretty scary Caitian walked in, not yet noticing his roommate in his daydreaming stupor as he made his way into his private quarters.

Namika looked up as the other person came in. She had her tray of food in her hands and a sort of surprised expression on her face. The other’s appearance didn’t seem to faze her. “Oh, hey,” she said, blinking behind her glasses.

Poor Konstantin earned the scare of his life and he yelled out loudly, his already puffy fur fluffing up beyond repair as he whipped his head around, staring at her. When he realized it was just his roommate, or someone, he sighed heavily in relief and clutched his chest. "Ah... Hi. Er, um... Sorry for the scream."

Namika startled only slightly when the Catian screamed. She managed not to drop her food. “Uh, no worries,” she said quickly, “I don’t think we’ve met yet, but you must be my roommate? I’m Namika Grey.”

"We haven't met yet, and yes... I am your roommate. My name is Konstantin Nikolayevich." He smiled softly, dying inside all while this was happening.

“Nice to meet you,” said Namika and took the liberty of moving to sit down on an armchair. She put her tray of food down on the table next to her box of hash cookies. She really hoped her roommate would be chill with those, by the way. “What are your pronouns?”

"Nice to meet you. And my- My what? What are those?" Bless this poor fluffball, he's only been properly introduced to modern day things recently.

“Oh like, by what gender you want to be referred to. For me, it’s she/her.” She looked up at the Catian, tilting her head. “Wanna take a seat by the way?” Her voice was kind of raspy and the way she gestured at the couch looked quite laid-back. She had the aura of a confident, calm person, who liked to strum her guitar for hours. Not really intimidating, unless you were intimidated by confidence and that slightly deep voice.

"Oh. Well, I am a male... So I can go by he/him? I think? And of course." He went over to her and sat down, taking care not to crack anything... including his short stubby tail.

“You’re the second Catian I’m meeting on the station now,” said Namika casually, making a mental note of his pronouns. Then she took a forkful of potato and ate it — with meagre gusto — swallowed, and looked back at him. “What’s your division?”

"Oh, really? Then I'm not alone in here after all. That's nice." He crossed his legs, quirking a furry eyebrow. "And I'm from Engineering, as a roboticist. What about you?"

Namika cursed herself for being reminded of Isaac the very second that Konstantin spoke about engineering. She quickly pushed those thoughts away and answered, “Helmsman aboard the Eventide and a shuttle pilot for the station. Though I just transferred, so I haven’t gotten much action yet.” She ate another mouthful of food, taking note of the other’s rather large and noticeable appearance. If it weren’t for the fact that Konstantin also looked quite intimidating, Namika would have described him as cuddly. “You know,” she started, “According to an old figure in earth literature, people should know the worst things about each other if they are to live with each other.” Quoting Sherlock Holmes. What a conversation starter.

"How interesting, it sounds quite nice to be a helmsman. And oh, have you? So have I!" He grinned, glad to not be the only new one around. Namika also did look a bit intimidation for the big furball that was Konstantin, but he honestly didn't mind at all. However... That little reference caught him by surprise. "Let me see... Sherlock Holmes? Subtile reference."

Namika smiled a small, dimpled smile. This Catian seemed like someone she’d get along with. “Yeah, how do you know?”, she asked with interest as she took another forkful of food.

"I read the full adventures of Sherlock Holmes, long ago. There are things I still remember." He tapped his own head with his large hand, taking care not to unsheath his claws.

“Cool, I love those stories!” Her smile widened into a small grin, deepening her dimples. The narrow, dark eyes behind the glasses went from Konstantin to her food and back up to Konstantin, before she asked, “So, would you like to follow Sherlock’s advice? Share our worst habits, so we know what to expect from sharing quarters?”

"Hmm, I don't know. I don't have many bad habits, unless you count fur shedding as a bad habit." He chortled loudly, his ear tufts twitching curiously at every noise as his heterochromic eyes stared at her.

She shrugged. “That’s good to know. Not a habit, since it’s not something you can prevent, right?” Then she looked back down at her food and started eating again, thinking about her own bad habits. “Personally, I tend to listen to music, sometimes loudly. But I’ll turn it down if you mind it. I also play the guitar and the bass. And, um, I like hash cookies.” She patted the little box on the table next to her plate. “Also, I’m a terrible caffeine addict. On the plus side, I’m a pretty good cook and I like making food for my friends!” A good habit to make up for the bad ones. Even though her love for music was more of a neutral habit than anything.

This was when they felt a vibration running through the station. Just a slight tremor, but enough to be unusual. Like a tiny earthquake. A stationquake. “Did you feel that?” Namika frowned.

When yellow alert was called out, Namika dropped her cutlery (not that the food was intriguing anyways) and quickly headed out. “Gotta go!” Gotta go fast to the Eventide…

And he followed right behind. "WAIT FOR ME!"

Coming back from sickbay, Namika looked sleep deprived enough to be sent right back there. She grabbed the hash cookies that were still lying on the table from last time she’d been here, then dragged herself to her own private room. Her PADD, the tamagotchi — Whitman, the raccoon — and the altimeter — which didn’t have a name (yet) — were both carefully placed on her nightstand before she dropped into her bed. The sudden drop made her back hurt a little, but then she relaxed and there was actually nothing more comfortable than being back in her own quarters. She really, really wanted to stay on her bed and sleep, but then she decided that she needed to water her plant, so she did that. Then she took a look at the one picture that she’d put up in her room. A picture of Rico and her parents and herself, all gathered in front of the farm house. Tia Claudia had taken it just a couple of weeks before Mika’s graduation from the Academy. A small sigh escaped her and she crawled back into bed. She still hadn’t told her family about the breakup. It would be disastrous. Both her parents loved Isaac and so did her little brother. And honestly, what wasn’t to love about him? He was kind, good natured, a real perfect boyfriend for their perfect little daughter! And now, he wasn’t her boyfriend anymore. Mika glared at the ceiling. She didn’t want to tell her family. Not yet. She was barely over the breakup herself, she didn’t need all of their opinions on it as well. Besides, they would want an explanation for the breakup and right now she wasn’t sure whether she was able to give one. She turned her head, her eyes fell on Whitman, the raccoon, and her house plant which was looking a bit sad about how long she hadn’t been able to water it. She thought about Jack and all of his overthinking. Maybe Mika had been hypocritical when she’d told him not to do that. Right now, she was here, overthinking.

19:25

She was overthinking why she was the only pilot who had gotten hurt during the storm. She was overthinking the breakup; and she was overthinking a transfer and she was overthinking Mo and Tetris and getting kicked off the Eventide’s bridge. It was like the universe was sending her mixed signals: The station didn’t seem to want her here. Nevertheless, people like Ava and her bright smile, Mo and his rambling, Jack and his thoughtfulness… They seemed to care for her. “Fuck, I need sleep,” she mumbled, cutting off her thoughts and closing her heavy eyelids. Finally, this room felt safe. There was no sterile smell. It smelled faintly of wet dirt and bitter kanar. There was no unsettling sickbay beeping, only the regular noises of the station. It was calming. She allowed herself to relax, and sleep.

2

3

The next day, Namika felt jumpy. She was well rested and she’d spent the last couple of days in sickbay, unable to move, so now she wanted nothing more than to get going! She wasn’t able to work, unfortunately, having been relieved from duty. But she was able to throw herself into a comfy knitted sweater and a jeans overall. She grabbed her headband, her PADD, and finally her guitar. Like that, she headed out into the corridor.

[PADD]

To: Lt. JG. Namika Grey From: Captain Mephistopheles Mo I am free at 1900 today for the arcade holoprogram. - Captain Mephistopheles Mo, Commander of Starbase 777

Back from her little trip to the environmental ring, Namika was sitting on her bed and strumming on her guitar, when the PADD on her nightstand have a chime. She leant over to look at it, careful not to overextend her back. And look who it was! Mo. She smiled and picked up the PADD, laying the instrument aside. [PADD]

To: Captain Mephistopheles Mo From: Lt. JG. Namika Grey You’re on! Bring the jacket. - Lt. JG. Namika Grey

10:04

She spent the remaining hours drinking coffee and eating cancha salada out of a bag. She fed Whitman — who did a cute little animation in return — and she jotted down some chord combinations; even though she didn’t usually compose things, she still liked to remember some of her idle strumming from time to time. She then played some more Tetris, because her competitiveness kicked in. All of that was way better than sitting around and thinking about Isaac or lying in bed and being bored. At 1850, she left her room.

“There we are.” Namika entered ahead of Mo. The main door opened into the common area - which was very boring. She hadn’t had time to talk to Konstantin about decorations yet. But seemingly the common room was not important anyways, because Mika crossed it and went straight towards the door of her own room, which slid open as she approached. Upon following her, Mo would see that Namika’s room was like if you threw colourful wool and goth aesthetic into a mixing pot and then spread the result in a bedroom. There were black and white pictures on the walls - posters, Polaroids. There was one of Rico, one of an old movie, a picture of herself as a teenager, leaning against a hoverbike, a picture of New Lima and many more. They covered the wall above her bed like a multitude of windows. A hologram stood on the bedside table, displaying a Galaxy Class starship. Isaac had made it and even though it kinda reminded her of him, it was too nice and too valuable to get rid of it. On the bed was a knitted, wollen blanket with green and blue stripes. It clashed a little with the black pillow that said in white writing ‘I woke up. It won’t get more productive than that today.’ On the floor was a black carpet with a motive of a white hand on it. A festoon of colourful paper with Peruvian patters stretched across the ceiling. There was a plant with red leaves in a pot on a commode. Beside the plant stood a coffee machine, because Mika disliked replicator coffee. Upon her arrival today, she’d tossed her shuffle bag onto the floor next to the wardrobe, and there it was still lying. Her room was tidy, apart from the large cargo boxes that stood right next to the door and made everything appear a bit less cozy. Food shipments. She’d have to store them away later. (edited)

Well, this was it. He'd passed the threshold. It... Didn't feel any different, actually, perhaps because they'd been slowly edging closer to that line between colleagues and friends each interaction - in fact, they'd already crossed it - so this wasn't a massive change at all, not like if she'd just randomly invited him here at an earlier stage. It was just a natural next step. Maybe things would be subtly different from now on, though. At the very least, he was now calling her a friend in his head. He looked around at all the decorations. It was comfy and goth - a contrast that worked. And the Polaroids were his kind of thing. Maybe he should see if he could whack some parts together and make her a Polaroid camera for her birthday, if she didn't already have one. And oooh, he should make a coffee machine like that, too. More for the novelty of it being a retro way to make coffee than him having a preference for a non-replicated version, though. He had garbage tastebuds and could barely tell the difference. "I like your whole, uh, comfy goth aesthetic," Mo said, then gestured to the boxes, "But it looks like you still have some unpacking to do."

3

“Thanks,” said Mika, eyes momentarily returning to Mo and then she looked at her own room as of to prove his point that yes, it was very likeable. For a second her eyes caught on an old picture of a guy with dark hair, blue eyes and a thin nose. Alejandro. A sad expression passed over her features, but it was gone again when she pulled her eyes away from the picture. “The boxes are fresh food shipments from Peru. I’m hoarding,” she explained and then went over to her shuffle bag, crouching down. “Anyways, this is the reason I brought you here.” She zipped the bag open and pulled out a packet. It felt soft and was about 20x30cm in size. The wrapping paper was brown and boring, but held together by a colourful woollen string. She handed it to Mo. “For you.”

Ah, right. He knew he came here to be given a gift, but somehow he didn't expect to actually be Given A Gift until it was right in front of him. He wondered if she knew how significant giving someone something for free was in Ferengi culture. It was something close friends or family did, at the very least. But humans did it very casually, and knowing this, that's why he'd given her the tamagotchi. A gift. ...They'd been friends for a while, hadn't they? That little gadget was the real threshold. "Thanks." He took the gift. It was soft. His smile was soft. He opened it with an odd amount of care, like they were going to reuse the wrapping paper for something later to save money. Inside it was...

4

…an article of clothing. More specifically, a shirt with a formal cut. The woollen material was black and very soft to the touch, like cashmere. The special thing about it was the embroidery, though. Along the buttons and on the collar, fine motives were decorating the fabric; stars and planets and constellations. It was made with a golden thread that shone in the artificial light of Mika’s quarters. Despite its subtlety, the embroidery would immediately catch the eye. A zodiac sign was embroidered on the left flap of the collar. Capricorn. As Mo opened the present carefully, Mika watched in reserved anticipation. “Hope you like it. It’s always a bit of a gamble buying clothes for other people. Especially people you don’t really know that well, but - in my defence! - you’re always in uniform, so I could only guess at your taste in clothing. It’s from this shop in New Lima; they make custom star sign embroideries.” So, that’s why she had asked. “This one kinda reminded me of you, I guess.” Totally professional thing to say to your Captain; yeah, I saw this thing and it made me think of you, so I bought it, even though it was a bit pricy. There ya go. She realised suddenly that this seemed an awful lot like she was trying to suck up to her superior officer. Which was not the case! She simply genuinely liked him, but that was difficult to convey without it coming across like bribery or something! “I hope you don’t think this is some kinda Rule 33 shit,” she hurried to say, “Because it’s not.”

3

2

Mo, who had already unfolded the shirt and held it out in front of him, surprised she'd gotten the right size (he wouldn't be surprised if they thought this was a present for a teen boy, with his proportions), felt the material between his thumb and forefinger, staring at it in surprise. "...Shit. How did you..." Mo cleared his throat. "Good Lord and the GMC, it's beautiful. And you must be pretty good at judgin' people's tastes because this is the sort of thing I would wear every day if I... frankly, had the confidence. You didn't happen to remember the thing I said about the stars a while ago, did you?" He couldn't believe she thought he was... worthy of an item this pretty. For a moment he really was paranoid that she was Rule 33-ing him, but he trusted his own judgement, and her, better than that. If she was sucking up to him, he liked to think he would've seen that already, and as ambitious as she was, she seemed to him like a woman of integrity, too. That was why they were... "...Actually, can I ask you something unprofessional, Grey?"

4

2

Relief filled her as she watched his reaction. He seemed to genuinely like it, even more so than she’d hoped. It made her chest feel fluttery and warm. “I’m glad I didn’t misjudge,” she said, “And yes, I do remember the thing you said about the stars.” Namely that they felt more like home to him than any other place. It was a little bit poetic that she would give him a gift from her own home which might remind him of the place that he called home. When she looked at him, the smile on her lips was very genuine and very gentle, and as always it made her look a bit more mischievous than intended. “Well, we are both off-duty, aren’t we?”, she responded softly, and expectantly did the thing where she pushed up her glasses on her nose.

Ah, shit, she did that cute thing where she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Mo held the shirt against his chest like a comforting shield. Her smile was both reassuring and not, because somehow he hadn't expected it to be so gentle. "Right. Uh..." Mo looked away, then back at her. The strange thing about being a Captain is you learn to keep a a cool and competent head in stressful situations, but that didn't necessarily translate into personal ones. He could stare down a Sec 31 agent if they popped up, but asking this fairly mundane question? Nerve-wracking. But eventually he worked up the guts to ask: "Are we friends?"

3

He seemed so… unsure. Almost shy. God, that was adorable! And ridiculous! Mika let out a short laugh and her stomach felt a bit fuzzy suddenly. “Hah! You know, I was hoping you would answer me that question one day,” she said, her voice sounding a lot firmer than his. Mo was difficult to read, but Mika thought that maybe there was a little bit of hope laced into that question. She bit her lip, then stopped as she remembered that it wouldn’t exactly help with how chapped her lips always were. “But, I mean,” - she took a breath - “I would like for the answer to be a yes. Definitely. So, if we agree on that, then… yes.“ She raised her eyebrows slightly, expectantly. Her smile was hopeful. She’d never been asked that question, it was a bit odd to be asked that question. If you spend a lot of time with a person, having fun and good conversation on a regular basis, it’s pretty obvious that they’re your friend. And that was what Mo and Mika did, wasn’t it? They spent time together, enjoyed each other’s company… If it weren’t for their professional relation to each other, his question would have been answered a while ago! And honestly, why shouldn’t she befriend her superior officer? Why shouldn’t those two relationships - friendship and professionalism - coexist? She was honestly glad that Mo had finally decided to address that elephant in the room. And she hoped that Mo thought the same about coexistence of professionalism and friendliness. She’d hate to lose this. She’d hate to lose Holodeck Nights and texting and talking with Mo. In many ways he was what made this station homely. She’d hate to lose their almost-friendship, just for the sake of professionalism. And she’d gladly take any chance to go away from the ‘almost’ and simply call him a friend.

Mo released a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. It was like he'd just asked her if she would please donate a kidney to him or something. "Ah. Good. I didn't want to be misreadin' the situation or anything. And, you know, it's... Difficult, makin' friends when you're the Station Commander for reasons I'm sure you can imagine, so usually I just kind of avoid it, but Daffodil said that wasn't good for me..." Mo paused, and in his hesitation caught sight of Mika's chapped lips. She needed to drink more water. Then he looked at the shirt. Was he supposed to put it on now, or...? "You got me ramblin' again." He laughed slightly and scratched the back of his red head. "It's just, uh... How am I supposed to be professional around you when you make me feel so damn comfortable?"

3

A sympathetic look came to Mika’s narrow eyes. She could somewhat imagine what he meant when he said that it was difficult making friends. He’d explained it once before, had told her how he tended to have the type of effect on situations that made everything stiff and formal. She wondered who Daffodil was, but saved the question for later. For now she was a little too hung up on his laugh and the thing he did when he rambled and when he scratched the back of his head in that sheepish way and it made her feel… soft. She was glad that he seemed not opposed to the idea of being friends. His last sentence was almost overwhelmingly nice to hear. Confirmation that she did indeed make him feel comfortable was incredibly welcome. A small, confident smile settled on her lips. “Don’t be professional, then,” she said quietly and gave a small shrug, eyes resting on Mo. She looked at his hands holding on to the shirt and then back at his angular face. “As stated before, we’re off-duty. You’re allowed to ramble and be informal as much as you want. And… You have yet to do something that would make me lose my professional respect for you. I like working under you. I also like spending time with you.” Confessions, confessions. Mika buried her hands in the pockets of her trousers, stopping herself from fumbling and creating a sort of casual, leisurely appearance. “My friends call me Mika, by the way. Though you can stick with Grey if you prefer, I don’t mind.” Both sounded nice to her, when he was the one saying it.

"Don't be professional? Hmmm. I don't know. I've had a job since I was a kid. Professional is my default mode." Earth children didn't have jobs. They were allowed to just... exist. He, however, had been put to work the moment we was old enough to hold a laser welder. "I'll try, though. And thanks. I like spending time with you too... Mika. In both professional and unprofessional contexts." Mo looked down at the shirt again. "Did you want me to try this on or just take it back to my quarters? Because I don't know when I'll have the opportunity to actually wear it. Next holodeck night, maybe."

A job since he was a child? For a second, Mika developed a spontaneous dislike for Ferengi culture, as much as she enjoyed his little Ferengi quirks. Putting a child to work was just one of those things that angered her. No wonder Mo didn’t take a proper shore leave when he seemed almost unfamiliar with the concept of not working. Sounded tough. Something to maybe talk about later. She kept smiling, though, happy that Mo said he enjoyed her company. Not that she hadn’t been assuming that anyways. After all, if he didn’t enjoy her company, he wouldn’t be spending so much time with her in the first place. Still, verbal confirmation was nice. “If it helps, you’re very good at sending unprofessional videos and pictures in the middle of the night, so that’s a start.” She grinned broadly. It made her look cheeky and younger and - suitable for the topic at hand - very unprofessional. Which is why she usually stuck to smiles and smirks. But this was a good enough occasion to make an exception. “And honestly, I don’t really care if you try it on now or later,” responded Mika to his question. She totally wanted to see him in the shirt (for mostly selfish reasons), but she would get to see him wear it sooner or later anyways. “But I’d like to remind you you’re not legally required to run around the station in that uniform 24/7.” In other words: Just wear it off-duty, you don’t need a fucking ‘opportunity’.

Her big smile was assuring, and he did return it slightly. He couldn't really grin back; he'd look absolutely diabolical. He had enjoyed sending her random stuff in the night. Maybe now that they were friends, they could text one a other quite frequently? He could send memes. He knew what memes were, this was 2412. "I know I'm not legally required, but it feels like I am. I could..." He looked around. "Put it on in the bathroom."

Yay, he was smiling. That was becoming a reoccurring thing now, which was nice. Perks of befriending someone, she supposed. “Sure, right over there,” she said and pointed out the bathroom door. Which Mika would know where it is but her role player doesn’t. Mika would probably enjoy getting sent memes. Rico often sent her random memes. What memes would Mo enjoy?

Deep fried memes. Memes with as many pixels as meals Mo eats per day. Memes with the worst photoshop. Mo enjoyed those sorts of memes because, though he enjoyed expensive things, he also enjoyed things completely without value, and a shitty meme was worth about -0.1 latinum. "Alright, back in a sec," Mo said, walking into the bathroom. After not long at all, because Mo was very quick in the bathroom, Mo came out ~~as bisexual~~ in his new formal shirt, the embroidered celestial imagery shining like sparks from a broken panel in the jeffries tubes. It actually fit him very well, which was good or bad depending on your taste, because it made the skinniness of his arms and angularity of his torso underneath more obvious. He'd buttoned it all the way up to the top, of course. You can take the man out of the uniform but you can't take the uniform out of the man, apparently. Mo tucked the shirt into his trousers. "It's comfy. Does it look okay?"

2

By the time he walked back in, Mika was sitting on the edge of her bed and she looked up as he entered. Her eyes swept over the outfit, the golden lines against black fabric. It had luxurious and goth vibes at the same time, which was very nice to look at, but eventually her line of sight got caught on his dark eyes. She probably could have thought a lot of things about this picture. She could have thought ‘Wow he’s skinnier than me, how even.’ Or she could have thought ‘That suits him.’ Or ‘Where do his irises end and his pupils start, wtf?’ Or she even could have thought ‘I outdid myself when I picked this shirt out.’ However, instead of all that, her mind completely blanked for a second and then it provided her with ‘Oh, no. He’s attractive.’ Which was utterly unhelpful! To be fair, this wasn’t the first time she’d thought this. She’d noticed that he was - though not conventionally handsome - attractive in some way, back when he’d worn the leather jacket. And the first time she’d thought this, it had been no problem to simply ignore it. Now, however, Mo was asking whether he looked okay and Mika could hardly lie. “Yeah,” she managed, keeping her voice pretty casual, “You look good- I mean, it looks good on you.” Nice save. “Forget the shuttle pilot gig, I’m becoming a full time fashion advisor,” she joked, maybe to distract from the fact that she’d called him good-looking.

Did she just... Mo tried not to blush too hard, and staved it off enough that it was faint. The whole situation reminded him of when she'd complimented the leather jacket back when they were shopping. It was fine, right? Friends called one another good looking sometimes. Back when he was a wee Ensign, he'd complimented his friends on things. That's right, he had friends once - but it felt so long ago he didn't really remember how the whole thing worked very well, to be honest, especially after cryostasis, which had basically killed all his relationships at once, because when you disappear for 16 years that tends to fracture your bonds a bit. Still. Hearing something that opposed one's view of oneself was still disorienting. He had the same thought as earlier - did she really think he was worthy of this? But he didn't say anything like that, because when someone gives you a compliment, responding negatively was always kind of a shitty vibe. "Thanks. I think that gig's already taken, by some guy who helped me crack your walnuts once, though." Wow, he phrased that weirdly. "I know humans just sort of give gifts to friends all the time as a cultural thing, but the Ferengi in me really wants to give you somethin' in return to make this an equal trade." (edited)

3

Mika raised her eyebrows. Walnut cracking guy who gives Mo fashion advice? Oh, wait! That was Eshen, right? Yeah, he had made a comment about walnut cracking when they had met. “Ah, I think I know him,” she said, and then he waved Mo off. “You don’t need to give me anything in return, you’ve already given me the tamagotchi.” And that’s when she remembered something. “Oh! Speaking of.” She reached into one of the many pockets of her cargo trousers and pulled out a small object. It was small enough to be covered completely as she held it in her fist, but she then stretched out her hand towards Mo and opened it. It was the alpaca keychain. “I should also give you this while you’re already here. If you really want to make this an equal trade, I have an offer,” she said, holding out her hand with the little plastic figure. “You take the keychain and in return you come back here tomorrow at noon and I’ll get some time out of your day.” She did have that invitation to cook for him pending.

1

Oh, so she knew Eshen? Well, Mo shouldn't be surprised, apparently everyone on the station knew that guy, and here Mo was with his single friend. Mo took the alpaca keychain with his bony hand and turned it over once or twice. She'd caught on to his affection for cute small things, probably. "I accept yer adorable bribe. Noon at yours, unless somethin' at work comes up. For what, though? Bein' ominous on purpose?"

Namika didn’t know exactly how to feel about it when Mo called something she did ‘adorable’. Or was he just calling the alpaca adorable? Huh. Something to not think about! But hey, they were falling into familiar banter once again and it was comfy, it was so nice, and she loved the fact that they were officially friends now. She let her hand fall back to her side as he’d taken the keychain. Again she thought about the fact that he looked nice in that shirt. “You’re smart, I’m sure you remember what we talked about. And if not, let me surprise you,” she responded with a small smirk. (edited)

"Ah, I think I have a feelin'. But I won't ask, just to keep it interestin'. Alright, thanks for the gift, again, I guess I'll..." Mo looked over to the door, "...Go now?" Though, to be honest, he didn't really want to go. He wanted to stay here and... Watch a movie or something. Listen to music. Have more bantz. But it seemed like the natural point to leave, and be didn't want to overstay his welcome, especially not when he'd be coming back here tomorrow. "Gotta check on the kids."

2

“Uh, yeah. ‘Course,” said Mika, nodding. “It’s late anyways.” That was true but it changed nothing about the fact that she wanted him to stay. They could play monopoly or something. But that would be excessive, right? They’d just now really admitted that they were even friends in the first place. Also, he’d be coming back soon anyways. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” she said with a small smile. “Thanks for dropping by, Mo.”

With one last smile, Mo said, "It was no problem. I'm dismissed." Then, reluctantly, he exited Mika's bedroom and then her quarters, both excited and nervous for what was probably going to be dinner at noon tomorrow.

After Mo had left, Mika spent a good fifteen minutes just smiling to herself for no particular reason - at least not any reason that she cared to analyse. She then did some mundane things, like eating a spot of dinner, brushing her teeth, recording a personal log, changing into pyjamas, and finally she went to bed. Tonight she didn’t have any nightmares. Actually, she dreamt of golden stars.

1

2

Perhaps in some ways, cooking was Mika’s mental safe space. Looking through her recipes, deciding on what to make, following familiar steps, working with fresh goods, creating dishes and putting together spices, mixing ingredients and smells and tastes… It kept her mind so occupied, it felt like she was just floating on the surface of a calm lake. Especially now, with no work on the station, shore leave time, the day off, she could just let herself indulge in the flow of cooking. No other thoughts, no thoughts about Alejandro, or Isaac, just thoughts about eggs and temperatures and corn starch.  She was dressed in jeans and t-shirt and a colourful apron. Her hair was put up in two messy buns at each side of her head and she was in the middle of her room, where she had set up a little kitchen. It was high-tech thing, given to her by tía Alma, back when she had left Peru for Starfleet Academy. It was practical, as it was essentially a whole kitchen fitting, but it could be disassembled and stored away in a box for easy transport. 25th century tech made it possible ~~because I said so~~!

23:11

Mika had been cooking for the past two hours, not including the time when she’d woken up in the middle of the night to soak shambar wheat in water in preparation for today. Yes, she did things like that. She’d cooked chickpeas and beans, had added the wheat, had steamed sweet onions and had mixed it all together, making it into a very mild vegetarian shambar soup.  She hadn’t been planning on making much more than that, but she was currently working on her second dish - Arroz Chaufa. It was usually a dish that was useful when you wanted to cook up leftovers. Today, though, Mika was making it simply because she wanted to. It was a rice dish, and so, some rice was cooking in a small pot on Mika’s left while she was cutting up some vegetables and debating whether or not to add an egg - it would change the texture. Mo didn’t like weird textures. Then again, ‘weird’ was a very vague term. (edited)

2

[D] That was when the doorbell rang.

1

Mika was humming slightly and absentmindedly told the computer to open the door. She didn’t stop chopping veggies, simply called out, “Who is it? I’m in here.”

Ava stepped inside, dressed in comfy baggy pants and a crop top, hair falling over her shoulders. “It’s just me!” Mika wouldn’t have had to yell anything, because Ava only had to follow the wonderful smell to be led into Mika’s room. The scene in front of her felt very familiar. Since they’d lived together for a long time on the Tyrga, Ava knew the sight of Mika in her little portable kitchen, happily cooking away. She always seemed very content when she was doing that. “Hm, smells amazing.”

Mika turned her head. “Oh, hey, Ava! How are you? And thanks, it does, doesn’t it?”

“I’m good, I’m good. Well. A little bored, so I decided to drop by.” She walked around her friend and looked over her bony shoulder at the food. “What are you cooking?”

“Nothing for you to steal,” said Mika, smirking. “Though you can try the soup, if you like.” She pointed at a pot that was in a warming compartment. Or whatever, idk about high tech kitchens, but I imagine Mika would have a place to keep stuff warm.

“Ah, you know me too well,” said Ava with a friendly grin. She loved food, especially Mika’s food, but all kinds of good food in general! She grabbed a fresh spoon and opened the pot. The shambar soup had a nice creamy texture as she took a spoonful and sipped on it. “Hmmm. Nice, very mild, though.”

“It’s supposed to be,” said Mika and checked on the rice. Still needed a couple of minutes. She went back to carrot chopping. (edited)

“Since when? You like spicy food,” commented Ava and decided to flop down on Mika’s bed. Her brown eyes followed Mika’s movement. Her fast veggie chopping skills were very impressive. How did she not cut her fingers off? A mystery. Ava loved watching, it was strangely mesmerising.

“I do. The person I’m cooking for doesn’t.”

2

“Oh?” Ava, as always, was curious. She raised her pointy eyebrows and asked, “Are you being mysterious on purpose?”

Mika chuckled raspily. She put the squares of carrot into another pot of cooking water to make them softer. “It’s Mo, I invited him.” (edited)

2

“Lucky bastard.”

2

“You jealous?” She grinned, glancing up at where Ava was sitting on the bed. “I think if I keep having so much fun with this cooking, there will be leftovers.”

“Sign me up!” Ava leant back, propping herself up on her hands. “How’d you meet Mo, anyways? I ran into him when he was walking his multitude of fluffy things-slash-animals.” She sounded like that was something that happened to her on a daily basis. Who knows? Maybe it did.

1

Smiling, Mika went back to her cooking. She decided to forget the egg and instead moved on to the bell peppers. “I’m afraid my meeting with Mo was much less… whatever that was that you just described. I simply ran into him when he was checking on the shuttles on the engineering ring. And then we just sort of… kept meeting.”

“So, you two are friends?” Ava tilted her head.

“Yes,” said Mika casually and it made her feel kind of warm. Or maybe that was the steam from the rice.

2

Ava nodded. “I can see why you like him.”

“Oh, really?” Mika raised a doubtful eyebrow, but she didn’t look up from what she was doing, so it looked like she was doubting a bell pepper.

Meanwhile, her half-Vulcan friend just shrugged. “Yeah, sure. I mean, he fits your taste of people, doesn’t he? Interesting, a bit weird, kind, ambitious - that last one is more of a wild guess, but he’s a captain, isn’t he? And as a bonus for you, he is a little bit scary-looking.”

2

It was almost offensive how fucking accurate that was. No really, that was exactly Mika’s taste in people. “…I feel called out.” She was done chopping the peppers. She pulled out a wok to cook the peppers and some sweet onions in.

Ava smirked. “So, you’re cooking for him. Have you found out what song makes him cry yet?”

Namika rolled her eyes. “First of all, that’s not a criteria for getting to know someone, or being friends with someone. Secondly, I think that your ‘scientific theory’,” she put air quotes around it, “that states that everyone has a song which makes them cry is utterly unproven.”

“Ah! I simply need more data,” said Ava decisively. “So, have you found out what makes our station commander cry, or haven’t you?”

“Please don’t ever phrase it like that ever again.” She threw the veggies into the hot oil with a satisfying sizzle. “And no. So, you can stop interrogating me about Mo now, thank you.”

“Alright, alright.” There was a pause in which Ava’s eyes rested on the wok. “What are you cooking now?”

“Arroz chaufa,” responded Mika cheerfully, “Rico loves it and has loved it ever since he was a child, so I thought, why not pull out one of the old recipes?” The carrots were done and she took them out of the water before putting them into the wok for a few moments together with the other veggies. The rice should be done in a bit as well.

3

“Hmmm.” That sounded and smelled fucking delicious. “I never thought I’d say this, since being in high command would not make me feel comfy, but I am jealous of our station commander now. How is Rico, by the way?”

Namika smiled a bit at Ava’s comment and then took the rice out of the cooker. “He’s doing well, spending time with him was a true blessing. We built a hoverbike together out of an old Vespa, you know! Beautiful thing.” She mixed the rice with the vegetables in the wok and added some soy sauce and a bit of seasoning. “He’s actually…” Her face fell suddenly, smile disappearing and she sighed.

“That sounds cool!”, said Ava and she was about to ask for pictures when she noticed the sudden shift in her friend’s expression. Her own face turned worried. “Mika? What’s wrong?”

Mika put away the empty rice pot and started mixing the Arroz chaufa in the wok with a spoon. It was a smooth churning motion and she looked down at it as she spoke, “He fainted again. Only once, but still…”

2

Ava, who knew about Rico’s medical condition, frowned in deep sympathy. “Oh, no… Oh, Mika, I’m sorry to hear that. How does he feel about it?”

“He’s better now, but he says he’s not sure whether it was just dehydration or… well, the illness again.” Namika grabbed a bowl and moved the rice from the wok into the bowl, pushing and pressing it down with a spoon, until the food was tightly packed into the bowl. “The worst thing isn’t that it happened again, it’s that my parents didn’t fucking tell me, you know?”

2

Ava gritted her teeth in a cringing expression. “Ugh, yeah. That’s horrible…”

Namika huffed. “I told him he should contact me directly if it happens again. I hate that they think- I don’t know what they think, maybe they think I’m too fucking busy, or not interested, because I’m too focused on my career!” With every word her tone got a little more bitter and she put the bowl of rice into the warmer. Then, she looked up at Ava, eyes narrow behind the glasses. “Tell me honestly, Ava. Do you think I’m too focused on my career?”

3

When Mika looked at her like that, asking her so openly, Ava felt a little out of her depths. Mika’s honestly and bluntness was one thing Ava had always appreciated, but she didn’t quite know how to respond. So, she did what she always did. She closed her eyes and found a calm place in her mind and considered - meditated - for a second. “I think you’re ambitious, and you’re scared that you’ll end up like your father,” she finally muttered, and opened her eyes again. Good thing about Mika’s honesty was that Mika was very good at handling equally honest replies.

Namika blinked. Shit. Ava was right. “I…” She was right. Mika didn’t want to end up a gambler, a user, an addict who neglects his family…

3

Ava smiled reassuringly. “Listen. You care fiercely about your family, especially your brother. You’re all good, Namika.”

“But what if-“ Mika gritted her teeth, shook her head. “No, you’re right. You’re right. I’m good, right? I’m a fucking good shuttle pilot and I’m a good sister to Rico, and those two things can coexist.” Affirmations. She wiped her hands on her apron and washed up some pots and the pan. It made her feel in control.

2

Ava watched and after a while she said, “You’re right. And I think that Rico is pretty proud of his sister.”

2

Mika smiled at the thought. She dried off the wok. “You know, I love when you do that thing where you make people feel better about themselves.”

Ava chuckled. It wasn’t raspy, like Namika’s laugh; it sounded melodic and a little bit crazy maybe. “I do my best.”

“You’re doing very good,” said Mika. “Have a treat.” And she tossed an avocado at Ava. Let’s all hope that she catches.

She did catch it! Yay! “I’m not a dog,” she protested, but it lacked any real edge, because Ava liked fresh avocados from Peru. Avacadoes. Heh. I’m so funny. “But thanks. By the way, circling back to the beginning of this convo, speaking of Mo, I wanted to talk about the fish tour thing,” she said.

Namika looked at her expectantly. She didn’t mind the quick change of subjects. It was always like that with Ava. Ava’s mood could change within seconds and her mind would wander from one subject to an entirely unrelated one without prior notice. Mika had just gotten used to it by now. “Yeah?”

“I maybe want to go visit Austin. I mean, I totally want to, actually, but I don’t know if it works out, yet,” said Ava, “But in case I go, it would be good to move the fish tour to some time after the shore leave.”

Mika shrugged. “Sure, I mean, that works for me. I’m sure Mo won’t mind too much, I can ask him later today.”

“Perfect!” Ava smiled broadly. “I do totally want to show you all my fish! Do you think Mo would be interested in Andorian ice glow fish? They got babies and I kind of need to get rid of them, my aquarium isn’t big enough for so many of them.”

1

“Gee, Ava, I don’t know, I’m not his fucking therapist - or whoever he tells his fish preferences to.” Mika gave her friend an amused look. “But he likes small critters apparently, so I’d give you a solid ‘probably’.”

1

“That’s a good enough answer for me,” said Ava, nodding. She looked at the cooking again. “There’s really no chance I can steal more than this avocado?”

“No,” said Mika with that natural authority that she shouldn’t have at her rank, but for some reason did, “I’ll call you later if there should be in leftovers.”

“Alright, alright. Captain Mika has spoken,” grumbled Ava.

It was an inside joke. Ever since Mika had told Ava about her goals, the half-Vulcan had started calling her ‘Captain Mika’ when she uttered any sort of command. Honestly, it was kind of a sweet supportive gesture on Ava’s side. Mika huffed. Then, she realised that she was technically done with cooking, but she wanted to keep going, but she couldn’t decide what to make, so she asked, “Causa Limeña or humitas?”

1

“Oooh, why not both?” Ava’s eyes glittered and she grinned.

Namika raised an eyebrow, but finally nodded. “You have a point, Ensign Ava.”

“Ensign?!” She gasped in fake offence.

“Cadet?”, suggested Mika.

Ava scoffed. “This is disrespect of a superior officer!”

1

“Oh, right, I forgot you’re a Lieutenant now.” Namika chuckled and shook her head. “All my friends outrank me, how pitiful.” That was not actually true, she said it entirely jokingly. (edited)

“It’s a sign you only hang out with the cool kids.”

“That just made you sound extremely uncool,” responded Mika.

“Eh.” Ava shrugged.

They kept bickering and talking and joking for a good hour - Mika simultaneously cooked - and in fact they had so much banter going on that a Cardassian could have mistaken it for flirting. It was nice, being in Ava’s company. She often had his happy vibe. Just like Isaac used to have. Ah, shit, why was she thinking of him again? Mika refocused on cooking and teasing Ava.

2

Eventually, Ava had to leave. “Have a nice lunch. Maybe you can bribe Mo into a promotion.” She was joking. She knew that Mika would never do such a thing and it was most certainly not a reason why she would befriend Mo.

“Oh, for sure!” Mika’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. “I’ll see you around, Silverfish.” (edited)

“See ya! Leave some food for me,” she said, heading out of the door.

“You wish!” Mika was still smiling after Ava had left and she hummed happily as she continued cooking.

1

On it!//

Another exhausting day at work... Done. Absolutely excellent. The tall Caitian made his way into the shared quarters and took a deep breath of relief as his laid back ears finally rose up again, because he was sure annoyed.

The door to Namika’s room was open, causing the wonderful scent of chickpea soup and tamales to waft into the common room. When Mika heard the doors of the quarters swoosh open and shut, she looked up from her kitchen set up and through the open door and she called out, “Hey, there! That you, Konstantin?” It probably was, she figured.

"Yes, it's me. Hello there, Ms. Grey!" He poked his furry head into the kitchen and waved with a furry paw, smiling as he did so. However, he was immediately hit by the wondrous scent of food, and his eyes widened slightly. "...! My, what are you cooking?"

A small, self-satisfied smile settled on Namika’s lips. She loved watching other people’s reaction to her cooking. Mika was wearing jeans, t-Shirt and a colourful apron. Konstantin would be able to see her goth interior design all around the high tech kitchen fitting. Namika looked right in her element. “I’m making tamales and cooking yellow potatoes for cause limeña, but I’ve also made soup and rice,“ she explained. “And please call me Mika.”

"That sounds wonderful, i wish i could eat those." He sighed softly and pat his stomach, his tufted ears laying back a little. However, when Mika told him to call her by her nickname, he nodded and walked into the kitchen as he spoke up, "And you can call me Kostya or Nik."

“Kostya,” repeated Mika as if to try it out. “Beautiful nickname.” She liked Kostya, both the name and the guy. “You can have a tamale, if you want, I made too much filling anyways.” And with that, she took one of the tamales out of the steamer and put it on a plate. The dish consisted of corn and egg filling, wrapped and steamed inside of a corn plant leaf. It looked very pretty and it would taste warm and mildly spiced. Mika held out the plate towards Konstantin.

1

"Thank you." And Konstantin gladly took it, nodding in respect and smiling as he soon took a bite out of it... And his eyes widened. He briefly turned around and just- Inhaled the rest of it, his floofy ears twitching happily when he did so. Once he had chewed it and swallowed properly, he turned around and handed her the plate, making a gesture as he hummed. "Mm, that was excellent!! You're marvelous at this, good lord."

1

Namika grinned, dimples appearing on her cheeks. She loved cooking for others, and she also loved it when they enjoyed it. It made her feel warm and appreciated. “Hah, thank you,” said Mika. “Perks of living with me, I guess. How was your day, Kostya?” She looked from him back down at the pot of boiling potato water. With a fork she tested whether they were soft enough yet. The answer was no.

"My day was good, albeit extremely tiring. I almost fell out of a railing today." He chuckled loudly, shaking his head as he took off the gloves he normally used, his hands just fluffing up instantly. "How about yours, Mika?"

He really was exceptionally fluffy, wasn’t he? Mika kind of found that adorable and interesting at the same time. “Ouch, good thing you didn’t fall. My day was good, too, I’m enjoying my day off. I had a friend visit earlier, Ava, a scientist. She’s my old roommate.” Namika wrapped up the next portion of tamale filling into a leaf, bundled it up like a present and put it in the steamer. “And I’ve been cooking for hours, which is honestly so fun.”

"Well, i hope you two had a good meeting. Since i am new to the station, you are my first roommate! That is good, isn't it? You seem like a lovely person to have around." Konstantin smiled and softly clapped his hands so the fur on them would go back to normal, his toe beans being barely even visible.

1

“Why, thank you. You seem like a good roomie as well. You like food, I like making food. Sounds like it’ll work out just fine.” She smirked, took off her glasses, wiped them clean on a cloth and then slipped them back on. “You’re also my first roommate on this station, by the way. I haven’t been on here for a long time either. Ava and I were just both stationed on the Tyrga before this and we happened to both end up on the same posting again, now.” She looked at the bowl of tamale filling. “Would you like some more tamales? I seriously made too much.” Two people would never eat all that on their own. Especially not when one of those two was Mo.

"Thank you. And well, instant matched roommates! One who loves making food, and the other who loves food, it's the full cycle." He laughed loudly and happily clapped his hands, but it sounded like he was wearing leather gloves because of she sheer density of his fur. "And well- I had another roommate, but they didn't exactly like me. And oh, yes please!" Mika, you're talking to the fucking food black hole. My man's gonna inhale that tamale filling faster than you can make it.

Kostya had a very happy laugh, the kind of laugh that inspired you to laugh as well. At least Namika thought so as she handed him a plate with three freshly made tamales, still steaming with heat. “There you go. What happened to that other roommate?”, she asked bluntly, slightly frowning. So far she hadn’t found a reason to complain about Kostya, or dislike him. Then again, they didn’t know each other very well. (edited)

He immediately ate one of them in less than three bites, closing his eyes and humming softly in satisfaction as he took in all the different tastes. When he had swallowed it, he cleared his throat and began explaining it as if he was talking to an old friend. "Well, you see... They didn't exactly like me during the shedding seasons. But in general, i have heard from another person who knew them that i was too bouncy for their rhythm.. Whatever that means."

“Too bouncy? Kostya I’ve lived with a hyper-emotional half-Vulcan, you’re nowhere near too bouncy,” said Mika reassuringly, “And as long as you don’t get hair on my food, we’re absolutely fine.”

"Oh dear, that sounds like... Quite the interesting journey." Konstantin let out a loud chuckle as he shook his head. "And I'll try my best."

“Well, yes. Ava had her… moments. But she’s an amazing person, honestly her emotionality is a blessing in many ways,” not in all the ways, but often. Mika smiled down at the pot of potatoes and tried again with the fork whether the texture was good. “You’re in engineering, right?” Why were so many of her male friends in engineering, it felt excessive.

"I bet that is the case! And yes, i am a roboticist." He proudly announced, grinning like the fucking dork he was and has always has been.

“Cool,” said Mika easily and then took the pot off the stove and placed the cooked potatoes into a mixer to puree them. She wondered briefly whether Kostya might know Isaac. It was a possibility. “Have you met a lot of people on the station yet?”, she asked, not yet turning on the mixer, because it would be loud and she wouldn’t be able to hear his reply.

After chatting some more with Konstantin, he presumably left again, and Mika continued cooking. She was glad that Kostya and her got along quite well. She tended to get along with food lovers in any case. After another hour or so, Mika was done cooking, cleaned up the kitchen. Mo would probably be visiting soon. Idk. Time is difficult in role play.

1

After feeding his coffee machine and building his cat, Mo turned up in the shirt Mika bought him looking like a fancy lad. A little more tired than maybe she'd like, considering the RoA#7 incident was weighing on him, but still attentive. He rang the doorbell.

Namika did in fact not have a preference for Mo’s tiredness level, so she didn’t mind, as long as he wasn’t literally sleepwalking. Though that might have been funny too, under certain circumstances. Anyways, Mika opened the door for him. She was actually dressed in black jeans, an undershirt and a cozy grey poncho with black embroidery. Feelin’ the goth and the Peruvian vibe today. That went really well with the wonderful smell of freshly made food in the common room, actually! “Hey,” she said, a small smile on her ever-chapped lips. Was she smiling about the fact that he was wearing the shirt or that he was simply here? Both. “Coffee?”, was the first thing she offered because the man did look like he needed it. Also, offering coffee when someone entered her quarters was very on-brand for Mika.

Lips still chapped. On god he was gonna get her to drink more water! Or just use his chapstick. Like, the type of chapstick he used, not literally his chapstick, that would be, um... Anyway. Food time! "Coffee, absolutely," He said, as though he hadn't already had two, "I like your poncho." It looked very comfy goth.

“Thank you. I like the shirt,” she said with a cheeky smirk. She stepped aside, gesturing at the couch in the common room. On the low couch table was the source of the wonderful smell in the room. Mika had actually made several dished that were now set up on the table, 5 in total. All of the dishes were very small, bite sized like in a luxurious restaurant where they charge you a million dollars for two spoons of food. Except Mika didn’t charge. All of the recipes were Peruvian, but she’d made some changes here and there to adjust to Mo’s preferences for non-spicy and non-overwhelming food. Yes, she had put a ridiculous amount of thought and time into this. For him. For fun. Professionally. The funny thing was that even though there were a lot of different foodstuffs on the table, it wasn’t a lot of food in total due to the small size of the portions. “Black, no sugar? I actually have alpaca milk, since you said you wanted to try,” said Mika, ignoring the food for the time being and walking towards her coffee machine. (edited)

"Thanks, a friend got it from me. Nice gal, great cook, you'd get along." Mo appreciated the bite sized food. You wouldn't think so, but he had an easier time eating at buffets because he could eat small bits at a time and stop whenever he wanted. "Yeah, I'll try the alpaca milk. I actually like milk, despite what I said, it's just I like my coffee to have that solidly bitter kick to really wake me the fuck up or distract me from whatever I'm thinkin'." He wondered if giraffe-sheep milk would taste any better than fat earth bovine milk, as he'd overhead that Dominion Diplomat say once. "Also, good lord, I'm glad I came 'ere just for the smell. Still can't believe you did all this. Sure this ain't rule 33?" He said, then winced a bit as he was reminded of recent events.

1

Namika was making the coffee machine do what it was supposed to do, when Mo complimented her. She grinned. It was nice being called a friend of his. When the coffee machine started humming and pouring dark brown liquid into two cups, she wondered what it was on Mo’s mind that he’d like to be distracted from. “I promise, this isn’t bribery, this is just me getting way too into it. I had too much fun and too much time,” explained Mika. She was still manning the coffee machine, so she didn’t see the small change in his expression. “How was your day?”, she asked, took the two cups and set them down on the table, together with a little porcelain carafe of alpaca milk.

"Bad, but better now. A, uh... Serious problem that I hoped was solved very much wasn't, and a coworker was understandably quite stressed by it. Hopefully it's not so urgent I get called out of dinner, but with this job you never know. That's into the life of a Captain for ya, I guess." He poured the carafe of milk into one of the cups, held the cup in his pale hands and blew on it. Then he looked over at the five different kinds of food.

“I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m sure you’ll manage,” said Mika, and was tempted to ask about more details, but she didn’t. Instead she followed Mo’s gaze, looked at the food and asked, “Do you want me to tell you what the different things are?”

Mo nodded, still blowing on his coffee. "I don't have a clue, so yeah, please." Then the steam tickled his nose and he sneezed like a kitten into his elbow. Then, taking that as a sign the coffee was apparently cool enough, he gave it a sip. "Ow." He was wrong. It was not cool enough.

“Bless you,” said Mika with a bit of an amused expression. She ignored the part of her brain that told her that oh, look, your boss has a cute sneeze. Very much not the topic at hand, thank you very much. “You need to be more patient with that coffee, it’s not replicated.” And therefore not meant to be drunken immediately. “Anyway.” She returned her attention to the food again. One of the dishes was a small bowl of yellow soup with a creamy texture. She knew he had an easier time eating soup, so she’d looked through all of her soup recipes, trying to find the least spicy and least weird one. She pointed at it. “So, that’s fake Shambar. Fake, because there’s no meat and no garlic in it. It tastes of chickpeas and… sweet wheat. Traditionally it’s only eaten on Mondays to prepare the working people for the rest of the week, because it’s pretty filling. But I am a little bit of an untraditional cook today.” The next dish she pointed at was a neat dome of rice, sitting on a plate. There were pieces of tomato and carrot in the rice; a small green leaf decorated the top. “This is vegetarian Arroz Chaufa - without the usual egg. Which was a fucking pain, because it kept falling apart, but I wanted to make it more of a consistent texture. It’s usually served at these little restaurants in Peru; we call them Chifas. This dish combines Peruvian and Chinese cuisine, Arroz Chaufa literally means ‘Chinese rice’ and right about now you should be noticing that it’s a horrible idea to let me talk about food.” She grinned and pointed at the next dish. “Humitas. My mother would say it’s a breakfast dish, but I would argue that I eat this 24/7.” A humita consisted of a soft filling made of corn and eggs, wrapped and steamed inside of a corn leaf. They looked like little presents. “There’s one with cheese and one without; I couldn’t decide, so I just made two types.”

21:37

Next was a particularly nicely shaped dish, a small cylinder that consisted of yellow potato purée on top and on the bottom, and it was filled with avocado and olives in the middle. A tiny bit of mayonnaise was on top, and bit of lettuce for decoration. It was the most fancy looking of the dishes - a bit like a savoury mini torte - and she explained that it was, “Causa limeña. Usually with Chili peppers, but since you don’t like spicy food, this is ‘sin chile’. I used olives instead. Rico loves this dish.” Lastly, she briefly touched a wooden plate on which there lay merely some pieces of avocado and tomatoes, cut neatly and arranged nicely. “And plain avocados. Because why not, I like avocados and they grow in Peru.” Finally, Namika looked from the food to Mo and said, “I, uh, overdid this, I know. Sorry. Literally you don’t have to eat anything, as I said, I just had too much fun making all of that. If you’re not hungry, I’ll call Ava later, she’s always hungry. Nothing will be wasted.” Namika gave a small, almost bashful smile, a very faint blush sneaking onto her cheeks. This was awkward, right? But was it more awkward than his inability to open walnuts, or his little squeal during the hoverbike race, or his eating contraption? She supposed that the two of them would be able to manage the awkwardness. “And you might wanna know that this costed nothing, not even replicator rations, because the stuff is from my parents’ farm. So, there.” In other words: Hey, food is my love language, thanks for signing up to the Friendship Program, cancellation of the subscription is not currently possible.

2

Mo swallowed, briefly overwhelmed. Not only had she made him food, but she'd made it small, and she'd accounted for his worries about the cost of things, and even the fact that he might not finish it. This was honestly one of the nicest things anyone had done for him in a long while, since... Well, since he was married, really. Gestures like this were something they'd do when he least expected it. Well, until after cryostasis and the passion was gone, anyway. He also remembered, for some reason, that they said he had a cute sneeze. Nope, that was a weird comparison to make, and he didn't want to think about his ex right now. "You really thought it through," He said, a little more softly than he intended, "Thanks. I feel very educated; I'm impressed by how much you know about this stuff, actually. Are you gonna eat anything, though. I would feel weird just sorta... Doin' it on my own." With her, like, staring the whole time or something. Putting his coffee cup down, he pointed to the humitas." Do you just eat that like an ice cream cone, or...?"

Mika knew that Mo had an attractive voice; it was just one of those things that she’d Come To Terms With, just like with the fact that she couldn’t wear fishnets on duty, or the fact that some people disliked the smell of alpaca wool. Those were facts that she was aware of, but she decided to ignore them for various reasons. When he did that thing, though, when he spoke softly - that is, even more softly than usual - it was really hard to ignore how nice it sounded. Mika nodded and replied, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll eat, too. I mean I’ve been eating bits of these things while I made them, but I’ll definitely eat.” She then threw three cubes of sugar into her black coffee and stirred. “And usually you’d unwrap a humita before eating it. But go wild, I guess. Be innovative.” She smiled into her cup before taking a sip. It was a little bit hot still, but not enough to burn her. (edited)

Mo picked up the soup, since consuming it was apparently less complex than the humita. "Do you eat it with a fork or a spoon? And do you feed the leaf to the alpacas?" Then he sipped the soup and the coffee in an alternating fashion.

The soup was creamy, almost too thick to sip, but he managed it, and had the savoury taste of chickpeas and beans and a pinch of a pinch of a pinch of spice. The coffee has the strong bitterness he liked, but the alpaca milk gave it a mild sweetness he quite liked - mild, and convenient, since it was like he'd added sugar without doing that. Both liquid foods were going down pretty fast - a good start, but to be expected, since he had an easier time with it. "It's good. I mean, it's great. You're a great cook. So far, I mean, but I'm sure the rest's great." Stop saying great, dork.

Namika smiled into her coffee and then set the cup down. It was like Mo had said - it was difficult staying professional around someone who was so… ~~cute and dorky~~ great. “Thanks,” said Mika, and she felt warm around her chest, “It’s just practice, really. It’s like hoverbiking, or hoverboarding, I’ve just invested hours of my life in those skills.” She picked up a spoon and unwrapped one of the humitas with her slender fingers. One with cheese. “And, it’s eaten with a spoon.” As if to prove her point, she took a spoonful of the filling and ate it. It was soft, like potato purée, but a bit less smooth. It tasted of corn and egg and though it was nowhere near spicy or salty enough for Mika’s taste, it was nice, especially with the cheese. “Really, I’ve never fed my humita leaves to the alpacas, but maybe I should have. They’d probably be more grateful than the replicator’s recycler,” she said after she’d swallowed. (edited)

1

At some point Mo abandoned his spoon and just sipped straight from the bowl. It was nice, and on the Vulture and the rest of Ferenginar, that was a polite thing to do with soup to show your appreciation, maybe maybe Terrans found it sloppy, he didn't know. "Ah, you ate some of the one with cheese in it and I like cheese. Do you mind sharin' food?" He knew some people were bothered by that stuff, but people who grew up with siblings or in similar environments like him and his bunkmates didn't tend to be as bothered. "By the way, is there a reason you removed a lot of the meat from these?"

“I don’t mind sharing at all,” said Mika and shoved the plate with the humita into the middle of the table between them. She also didn’t mind that he was sipping soup from the bowl. She was simply happy that he was eating. She’d grown up with a thieving baby brother, so yes, she wasn’t bothered by sharing. In fact, she found it nice. Cooking for people was to Mika a bit like gift giving was to Ferengi, or at least she thought that might be a good comparison. Instead of spending Latinum on another person, Mika spent time and thought and work on another person, preparing a meal; altering the recipe could be compared to picking out an item for someone else, trying to figure out their preferences. “And the reason I removed the meat was that I don’t know if you like meat, especially non-replicated - some people have moral quarrels with that - and traditionally the meat is the spicy part about the dish. Peruvian cuisine goes wild with putting herbs on meat. Oh, and also it’s not butchering season right now. Lots of reasons.”

Mo nodded and ate a spoonful of the humita, which had a texture only one step up from soup, really. "Makes sense. I'm actually okay with meat, though. Nothin' too tough, like a well-done steak or somethin', but chicken and fish are okay. Ferengi are mostly insectivorous, so I adapted. Actually, I like crab. It has a similar sort of taste to some of the large bugs." Then Mo paused, quickly eating another spoonful. Actually, it was noticeable that he didn't tend to chew much at all for some reason. "Sorry, they have a thing about eating bugs in most places on Earth, right?"

Namika shrugged. “I suppose so, but you kind of grow a tolerance for that sort of stuff when you’re in the Federation and you are faced with the Klingon cuisine, for example. Also, in some places on Earth it’s perfectly normal to eat spiders and grasshoppers and so on. It’s good to know you’re cool with chicken and fish, I love making chicken dishes.” Not that she was already thinking about cooking for him again at some point in the future, but she was totally thinking about cooking for him again at some point in the future. “By the way, I talked to Ava and she wants to know if you like glowing fish and if you have a song that makes you cry. I know that sounds completely random.” She didn’t notice the fact that he wasn’t chewing much (yet?), because she wasn’t watching him eat like some kind of hawk, she was focused on eating as well and only glanced up occasionally to make casual eye contact when they were speaking.

"What places? I kinda wanna know." Earth insect food. Of course, most Ferengi would be disgusted at the idea of eating alien bugs, since it was only their bugs that should be eaten, but he was human so he felt he got a pass or something. "Glowing fish sounds cool as hell, and, uh... A song that makes me cry? I dunno if I listen to that many sad songs, t'be honest. I only have a poem that does that, and you already know of it."

“Your favourite poem is one that makes you cry?”, she said, eyes squinting slightly with interest and curiosity. That was odd. Or maybe it wasn’t, Mika wasn’t overly into poetry. O Captain, My Captain was certainly a really sad poem, it was interesting though that something that was so sad would be someone’s favourite. “Huh.” She could never. Mika hated crying. It made her feel weak and dependent. When she was really upset, she tended to prefer screaming - it was just as good an outlet for her emotions as crying was, but it made her feel less vulnerable. She looked down again, took another small spoon of humita. “Unfortunately, I’ll have to disappoint you, I don’t know exactly where on Earth bug eating is customary. Can’t be too difficult to find out, though.” Chewing on the humita filling, she wondered whether the fact that Mo didn’t have a song that made him cry would finally make Ava drop her ridiculous ‘scientific study’. Probably not. Ava was Ava after all.

Mo also made a mental note to look up earth bug food later as he ate his humita. "Yeah. It's cathartic. And if I ever have trouble gettin' tears out, that's where I go." Mo had insecurities about many things, but admitting he cried was apparently one of them. "It's good to have a cry in a safe and appropriate venue sometimes. That way, your sadness doesn't trouble you later." He did it in therapy. Much less effort than repressing them all the time. Someone tell the Vulcans this secret life hack. "It's my way of celebratin' and mournin' someone I once knew."

2

Ah, so he was the kind of person who cried to get his sadness out. Ava did that, too. But here was the thing, he’d said ‘safe and appropriate venue’. Mika didn’t currently have anyone who made her feel safe enough to actually cry around them. That had been Isaac, and now he was gone. For a second, her eyes glazed over with some kind of heartbroken-ness. Isaac was gone - not literally of course, by God, he was still on this station! But he was gone from her life. Possibly forever. She hadn’t meant for it to be that way. It took her a second in which she mostly stared at Mo, but not really, it was like staring through him at some sort of sad void in her life, until she finally managed to refocus on the conversation. “Who?”, she asked softly, “If I may ask.”

"First human I ever met, and closest thing I ever had to a dad," Mo replied, noting her far away look but not saying anything, wondering if she had anyone to cry with. He'd gotten the impression Ava would be a good person to do that with. Maybe she'd replicate you ice-cream and talk about fish to take your mind off of it or something. Had Mika cried when Isaac... No, that was none of his business. He hoped one day Mika would feel comfortable enough to cry around him. If recent events meant anything, maybe he was an easy person to cry around. "I stole his accent. I could elaborate more, if you wanted, but it doesn't get any happier of a story."

One more thing she liked about Mo: the fact that he was open. He answered questions, even personal ones, like this one. Mika enjoyed this, because she was like that, too. Never a liar. The closest thing he’d had to a dad, and that person had died? Must be tough. For a second Mika tried to imagine what it’d be like if her father was dead. She came to the dreadful and sad conclusion that her life probably wouldn’t be so impacted by it at all. “My condolences,” she said and she meant it. She spoke with the voice of someone who knew what it was like to lose. Death, or the escaping thereof was a bit of a theme in Mika’s life. Sometimes she wondered whether it followed her around. Maybe that was part of the reason why she was often dressed in black, as though she were going to a funeral every other day. Despite this, Mika wasn’t a pessimist. She liked to think she was a realist. She was awfully aware of death, of the possibility and the inevitability of it. That didn’t mean that life wasn’t worth living. Actually, to her, it meant that life was especially worth living. And there she was again, thinking about Alejandro, about what he must have looked like, lying dead in his messy room, his pupils dilated and empty. She didn’t want to imagine, but her mind kept saying that this could have been her. She could have ended up like that, if it hadn’t been for Rico and her decision to join Starfleet. Breaking eye contact, Mika looked down at the food and she ate a piece of avocado with her spoon. Then, she said, “You can talk about it, but only if you want to. I don’t mind sad stories, they’re just another part of life. I’ve seen death too many times to be able to pretend it’s not a part of life.” She gave a small chuckling sound and glanced up at Mo. “God, that sounds like I’ve been through war, or something. Sorry. It’s just…”

16:23

She trailed off. Part of her wanted to tell him about Alejandro. But they were always talking about her problems, he was always listening to all the shit that was on her mind, when he surely had enough things in that station-commanding head of his. Mika knew he always said he wanted to lend an open ear, but she didn’t want to use him as some sort of therapist friend. “Anyway. My point is, you can talk about it if you want to share, and you can change the topic if not.” For the record, Ava was the type of person who was safe to cry around, but she’d start crying as well out of sympathy and that would make Mika feel bad, which was why Mika didn’t cry around Ava. Even though she’d totally offer ice cream and fish facts and wise words. And no, Mika had not cried after Isaac and her had broken up. A couple of times in the past weeks, she’d felt her eyes welling up, but she hadn’t actually spilt any tears. Maybe it was overdue.

Mo nodded at the condolences, but didn't say much else about it. When she talked about seeing death, though, that prompted a raised brow of concern. He'd have to ask about that if an opportunity came up. "We met back when I was 'round 16. I wanted to join Starfleet, but I wasn't a member of the Federation, so I needed a sponsor. The people on the Vulture, at this point, supported me, but they tried to do it the Ferengi way - offering 'im money to take me in. But he refused, and said I could work on the ship for a year, helpin' people out. So I did, and I learnt English and Standard from him, and that's where I got my accent." Mo cleared his throat, finished off his humita, then looked between the two remaining food items. He was approaching his limit, he knew, and he'd only really be able to eat some of one. He decided to pick up the plate of Causa Limena, sin chile, because she'd said Rico loved it. "He called it a family heirloom he was passin' on. He didn't have any actual kids or heirlooms, so I guess it was the best thing he could give me aside from sponsorship. Eventually he got me into the Academy, and I went there, and then durin' my first year... He died in the Dominion war just a few months before it ended. If it had ended a just a bit sooner, he would still be 'ere. S'why I'm a pacifist these days. And, uh, he's one of the reasons I made the switch to Command." He'd told this story to Alizati once before and he'd tell it again. And much like then, he didn't seem overly distressed or anguished about it as he spoke, either. After all, he'd told his therapist this many times. It no longer affected him. In fact, in a metaphorical sense, the death that affected him most these days was his own.

3

Namika listened closely. She enjoyed this, enjoyed hearing people’s stories in general, but somehow she especially enjoyed hearing Mo’s. For some reason. Don’t ask why. Since Mo took the Causa Limeña, Mika took a spoonful of Arroz Chaufa. Which was relatively bland, to be honest. Mo’d probably made a good choice in taking the Causa Limeña which wasn’t very spicy, but it tasted of sweet yellow potatoes. The avocado between the potato purée carried a hint of lemon and the olives added a more savoury note. “Sounds like a very caring person,” said Mika finally. She imagined a father figure who actually made a difference in the life of the people he cared for. Must be nice. Actually, it reminded her a little of Mo. “You got that trait from him?”, she asked with the tug of a small smile around the corners of her lips. And then his mention of the Academy revived a thought that she’d already had before but she’d never addressed it. When she’d found out his age, her little math nerd brain had immediately realised that wow, he had to have entered the Academy at a damn young age! “Actually, harsh cut, I know, but can I ask a professional question?”

Now that did get to him. Any remark suggesting he resembled his dead father figure who he respected deeply and aspired to be like, of course, would. "Thanks," he said, smiling subtly and scratching the back of his red head like he always did when he was feeling bashful and embarrassed, then ate a forkful of Cause Limena. He had to force himself to swallow, though. The taste of the sweet potato, avocado, and hint of lemon was nice, but for some reason the olives were just slightly too strong tasting for him. He stared at his plate. He didn't want to disappoint her and not finish it, but he didn't want to sit here forcing himself to eat, either. That really was a harsh cut, damn. He didn't mind, though. Actually, considering the weird dynamic they had, where they were friends but she was also ambitious enough to want his position someday, he should probably get used to it. He took a sip of his alpaca coffee to wash away the olive taste, then replied, "Sure, go for it."

“You’re young. For someone of your rank, I mean,” said Mika quickly, because that first sentence sounded very weird just on its on. “In seven years, I won’t be where you’re now. Or, well - never say never, but it’s unlikely to say the least. So, how did you get into high command so early?” She squinted her eyes slightly, did the thing where she pushed up her glasses (matching the cuteness level of his head scratching but it was one of those things she decided to ignore) and then she noticed the way he stared at the plate. Mika didn’t usually let on that she was good at reading people, or that she could solve complex equations in her head within seconds, or that she memorised every name she heard, the reason being that she disliked letting people know how smart she really was, for reasons that had to do with her upbringing, but this was a good enough occasion to let her people reading skill shine through. “You don’t have to finish that, by the way, Ava will literally be forever in your debt if you leave it.”

Mo sighed in relief and dejection that of course he had inevitably been stopped in his tracks. "Thanks. It was the olives, I think. I need weakass olives. As for how I got here... I mean, workin' hard, I guess. Perhaps too hard at times. On one of my postings, they called me the backbone of the ship. I was always runnin' around fixin' things. I think, when you're in Engineerin', there's just a lot of opportunities to shine - like, whenever some nonsense happens and the warp core breaks, they're usually pretty grateful for you fixin' it. Your efforts lead to very... Tangible results." Mo put his plate on the table. "Other than that, I was just ambitious, not afraid to hype myself up a bit, and I helped out the right people. Like, I worked well with the chief of engineering on one of my last postings, and we were both - entirely to toot my own horn, pretty smart, so we accomplished a lot together. Also, I think where you work makes a big difference. When I was in the Nightingale, a travelling medical ship goin' to war-torn worlds or ones struck by natural disaster - where I met my ex, actually - we were always in the thick of things. It was actually quite stressful, but if I'd gone to some quiet research outpost where nothin' happens, I don't I'd be here today." (edited)

Namika listened and then turned it all over in her brain. She supposed he was right, engineering gave you a lot of opportunities to shine. Issac had always been complimented much more on his work than Mika had been. He was always the one making everything run smoothly, she was just the one piloting the ship, no biggie. When Mo spoke of the Nightingale and being in the thick of things, she nodded slightly. “Reminds me of the Tyrga. My last posting, that is. It was a science vessel, not exactly as busy as a travelling medical ship, maybe, but we definitely had the occasional incident. Or, more like weekly incident. I liked being on that bridge, being in the middle of the action, making myself heard; it was a very respectful working environment.” She smiled. “Captain Ided trusted me with my job, he knew that I knew the Tyrga like the back of my own hand, and I loved that ship almost as much as he did.” It had felt rewarding, working on a bridge, in the middle of things. Especially after spending her fist couple of years as an Ensign doing nothing but shuttle runs. She looked melancholic as she ate another piece of avocado. Yeah, she’d loved the Tyrga, it was evident in the way she spoke about that posting. She’d loved being on a bridge. And now, she was back to shuttle runs. In some ways, it did upset her. Sometimes she still lay awake at night, thinking that she should never have made that transfer, shouldn’t have followed Isaac here.

20:19

And yes, she was awfully aware that she could have kept working on the Eventide, at least that would mean she’d be working on a bridge when the ship got deployed, but she didn’t want to be some kind of second choice on the Eventide bridge, or stand in Jack’s way. In some ways, she was a little jealous of Jack, as much as she tried to be happy for the Ensign. He was one lucky guy, in her eyes, getting to work on the bridge of a ship at such a low rank. She’d worked hard to get a position like that and now she’d given it all up - and for what? For a boy she wasn’t talking to anymore, and even more shuttle runs. As she had this little internal monologue, she blinked a couple of times at the Arroz Chaufa and then snapped out of it. “Sorry. Your rambling is contagious.” Her smile had lost some of its authenticity, when she finally looked back up at Mo.

Hmmm. This was obviously a reoccurring thing. In fact, he worried as much as he tried to make the station welcoming for her, she was a career woman much like he was a career man. She was burdened with too little responsibility, and he had no real way to help her with that. Shuttle runs weren't a bad gig by any means, but they were kind of samey, and not the kind of thing that stood out enough to get promoted for, really. Her best bet currently was... Getting promoted for long service, which wasn't going to happen any time soon, obviously, or if some other kind of disaster happened on the station and she had to fly into dangerous territory again, which wasn't really something he wished for on purpose. ...Did she deserve a promotion for that incident? Would it be immoral of him to give her one when they were also friends? Would also be immoral to withhold it from her because he was afraid of how it would reflect on him? Local pilot invites Captain to quarters for dinner and then suddenly gets promoted. Hmmm. Shit. This was exactly why he didn't usually do this kind of thing. Maybe this was a mistake. Ugh, why the moral dilemma suddenly? He just wanted to actually enjoy eating food for once! "It sounds like you had a good time there. I don't know if it's reassurin', but every so often, crazy shit does happen on this station, so... Maybe you'll get more chances to shine. Don't feel like you have to rush forward or anything, though. I personally don't think how young someone gets to a Rank indicates they're any better at their job than someone else of the same rank." He glanced down at her shoulder, wondering if he should give it a reassuring pat or not, but decided against it. The last few situations he'd offered someone comfort like that was when they were literally crying. Despite her subtle distress, this was still a much more casual situation. "Truth is, I think a lot of it is down to luck. Fate can drastically change the course of your life at an

21:18

y moment. I learned that from getting stuck in cryo for 16 years."

If Mika could have heard those thoughts, she probably would have told him that she didn’t want a promotion, not under these circumstances. Not after talking it out with him, not when it would feel like she’d somehow guilt tripped him into it. The way she’d flown the shuttle into the ion storm and back had been okay, but not worthy of a promotion - especially since the other pilots out there hadn’t come back a literal wreck. He was right, though, it was down to luck. “Thanks for trying to reassure me,” she said honestly, “Though, you don’t have to. Honestly, I shouldn’t be fussing. The Tyrga was good, I was lucky to be there, and now I’m here, and I don’t think that’s unlucky. I like it here. This - going back to shuttle runs on the daily - it might… slow me down, or something, but it’s not what’s really bothering me. Sure, I wanna make captain, but I don’t care if I’ll make it in ten, or fifteen years.” She leant back into the couch, laying her spoon aside and instead fumbling with a tread on her poncho. She crossed her legs and decided to make a small confession; something that he presumably already knew, “I wouldn’t mind working here at all if it weren’t for other shit going on in my life. Actually, in some ways, maybe it’s good that work is slower for me now. Gives me time to sort out other issues. It’s just that it doesn’t give me an opportunity to hide from personal stuff anymore. If that makes sense.” A dimpled, honest smile settled on her lips as she looked at Mo. “Apologies. I have a knack for being too blunt and making conversations more serious than they need to be.” Which wasn’t to say that she didn’t have a sense of humour - not at all, Mika could be very humorous! - but her tendency to always say the truth often led to situations like these.

Ah, the dimples. His beloved, his beloathed, because they made her smile even more... Confusing. "We have that in common. That's why our conversations go down rabbit holes all the time." Mo held the mug in his hands and sipped his coffee, which was nearing lukewarm, but still nice. Then he put the cup on his lap and stared into it, rubbing the warm rim with his thumbs. Today, his nails were blue. "I'm glad you ain't hidin' from personal stuff. And, uh, you know, since we're... Friends, you don't have to hide it from me, either. Just so you know. I mean, I did just tell you what poem makes me cry. Hey, what's you're answer to Ava's questions?"

2

Mika picked up her own cup again, took a sip while he spoke. Also lukewarm, but still strong and sugary, just as she liked it. Her eyes rested briefly on his blue nail polish and then the embroidery on his shirt. Gold and blue suited him. A poncho would probably suit him, would hide the fact that he was so skinny. When he said that they were friends, it made Mika smile down at her coffee. It was nice having someone to talk to like this, someone who wasn’t an easily excitable half-Vulcan. As much as Mika loved Ava, the types of conversations that Mo and her seemed to keep having somehow always ended up being more in-depth. When he was like this - openly talking about personal stuff, and sipping coffee on her couch, and pointing out things that they had in common - it was easy to forget sometimes that he was the highest of the higher-ups on this station. And that forgetfulness was dangerous. It was probably the exact thing he was trying to avoid by keeping professional distance and steering clear of friendships. Mika understood now. Sometimes she had those moments where she forgot that he was her boss and she simply admired him for the person he was or she wanted to tease him for one of his quirks and then it hit her again that oh, no, that’s the guy who could theoretically fire you, Mika. So, she understood now why Mo would try to avoid this, even though it didn’t make Mika lose her respect for him, it still felt like so many lines were being smudged which were supposed to be clearly drawn. She hoped it wouldn’t break their friendship at some point in the future. She made eye contact, considering her answer for a second. “I don’t cry often,” she said, “But I guess one song that makes me emotional right now is… ‘Giver’ by K.Flay. And any of Isaac’s favourite songs, really.” Sometimes she accidentally played them on her guitar when she was just strumming chords. “They don’t really make me cry, though. I listen to MCR when I need a screaming session.”

Kayflay? That didn't sound like any human name he knew. Then again, he didn't know that many, and Earth was a very diverse planet. He had heard of MCR, though. "Oh, My Chemical Romance? It's a bit retro, but I actually know of that one, because someone once said I looked like I listened to it, an' now I guess they were right. I have a band tee of them which I mostly just wear as a pajama top 'cause it's a bit big for me. Oh, don't know Kayflay, though." He wondered what Isaac's favourite songs were. In fact, he wondered what the guy was like. If he was an Engineer, would Mo get along with him? Well, he'd know if he ever ran into him, he supposed. He decided to give the Arroz Chaufa a go - at least one spoonful; it was perfectly bland - well, that was the wrong was to put it. There were still interesting flavours, they were just very subtle, and the texture of the rive was nice, too. "These are all good. I enioyed eatin' 0.5% of 'em. Thanks for doin' this, by the way. It's been a long time since... I've done anythin' like this, really."

Mika smiled. Again. Mo just had that effect, she supposed. Actually, he shouldn’t have said that thing about his MCR shirt, because now she was imagining Mo with a messy red bedhead in a band tee that hung loosely off his bony shoulders and low-key she high-key found the picture incredibly cute. Which she really shouldn’t, that was totally uncalled for! Quickly, she looked down and thought about something else, or at least tried to, before she could do something stupid, like blushing, or something. Too late, though, she was already blushing a bit, embarrassed by the fact that her mind would even go there. “You’re welcome,” she said, and didn’t add that she wouldn’t mind doing something like this again in the future, “I 100% enjoyed making these. You should check out K.Flay if you like MCR, she’s a bit retro, too. Mostly a mix of pop rock and hip hop - and she’s one of the reasons I learned how to play guitar and bass.” Isaac’s favorite songs were mostly pop songs, funny upbeat stuff that were easy to dance to. Like ‘Mambo No. 5’ or ‘Rasputin’. Sometimes also funk songs. Mika knew how to play ‘SexyBack’ on the guitar because of him. Good times. Bittersweet now. (edited)

2

"Ain't pop rocks a food?" Mo said. And wasn't Mika blushing? But why? Did he say something wrong? He had no clue. Maybe he triggered an embarrassing memory. Probably something to do with Isaac. "And maybe next time I can... Help? I may not be good at eatin' but I could learn to be good at cookin'. Maybe." Hopefully he wouldn't set her quarters on fire. "I'd like to hear you play, actually. I make music sometimes, but I do it on the computer using auto-generated sounds and such." Replicated food, replicated sounds... Mo truly was a man of the future. He could play the synthesiser a bit, though.

“Oh, rad!” Her eyes lit up slightly, the blush vanishing as she managed to think about things that weren’t Mo in an oversized band tee. “I could record some stuff, you could slap it together.” As if the station commander had that much free time for music production. Fucking unlikely. It was a nice fantasy, though, let her imagine! “Pop rock is a music genre. Might also be a food, I don’t know,” said Mika, “About cooking… I’m a tough teacher. Rico doesn’t dare touch the kitchen when I’m in it. You can try, though.” She narrowed her eyes slightly at him. It almost looked challenging as she raised her hand and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, leaning back against the couch. She had a strange way of making that look like a power move. “Just don’t expect me to be nice.” (edited)

Mirroring the (attractive) confidence of her Power Pose, Mo smirked. "That's fine. I can take a little heat in the kitchen." Mo looked at his coffee cup, which was now empty. "Any chance for another coffee? Oh, and yeah, you message me stuff and I s'pose I'll get to it when I get to it. I warn you, though considerin' my music taste is Klingon Acid Punk, Smooth Jazz, MCR and chiptune, I have no fuckin' idea what genre the end result'll be."

She liked that smirk, even though it made him look a wee bit diabolical. She also didn’t mind the notion of teaching him how to cook. She’d done it with Isaac, it had been fun. Wait, no, not a connection she wanted to make right now! “Surprise me,” she said with a dimpled smile, responding to the music thing. Then, she uncrossed her legs, picked up both of their mugs and stood up to get new coffee. “Alpaca milk again, or just plain black? To - what did you say? - ‘really wake you the fuck up’?” As she pushed a couple of buttons on the coffee machine, she wondered whether Mo would enjoy getting sent some vocals, too.

Aaagh. Now not only did he notice the dimples again, he had the compulsion to tell her they were cute! "Thanks, but I'm pretty woke the fuck up right now, thanks. But in a sort of relaxed way." His posture wasn't slouched in tiredness like it was before, but it wasn't as stiff and formal as it usually was, either.

“Glad to hear that.” She was leaning against the wall of her quarters, looking over at him as she waited for the coffee machine to get shit done. The machine hummed and did a little slurping noise in the background. It was oddly domestic, maybe she’d end up calling 777 home after all. Mo did look more relaxed than usual. Maybe it was the friendship thing. “You know, this has inspired me,” she said as she looked down at the mostly empty plates on the table, “I might do another Peruvian Night after all. I was hesitant at first, since I haven’t settled in here so much yet, but maybe it’ll help me settle in. You’re invited, though I know you won’t come.” It was still kinder to invite him anyway, right? Make him feel included.

Her intuition was correct. "I won't, but I do appreciate the invitation. I'm curious to know who you're invitin', though." Ava, probably. He watched the coffee machine make its noises like some kind of creature, and wondered if he should ask Mika over for coffee once it was built. He kind of wanted to decorate a bit more before she saw his quarters, though. Also, he didn't have any alpaca milk.

She’d probably enjoy being invited to his place for coffee, even though right now she was thinking it would be nice to meet him in some situation that didn’t just involve the two of them. It was nice, of course, but it also felt weirdly intimate. She was looking forward to the Fish Tour with Ava! Speaking of her… “Ava, Konstantin, probably Jack, the pilot of the Eventide. Oh, and Nia! She’s this nice Cardassian botanist I met. Ava might drag Ken along, even though he’s not a fan of parties. I usually allow my guests to bring someone if they want.” She shrugged. “Who knows, maybe I’ll meet some more people in the next couple of days. I might invite Eshen, he and I have drinks pending anyways.” And Eshen seemed like a party guy and a food guy, both. Contrary to Mo. If she had a little less self control, Mika might have included Isaac on that list. But that would be a bad idea and she knew it. Mika grabbed the two cups - now filled with coffee - out of the machine and she carried them back to the table. She offered Mo some more alpaca milk, didn’t take any into her own cup though. She just put a ludicrous amount of sugar in, stirred, and then sat down with both hands wrapped around the warm mug. (edited)

Unfortunately (in some ways; fortunate in others), Mo was just generally the kind of person who preferred one-to-one interactions. He was never a party guy. "Oh, I see," Mo said, pouring alpaca milk into his coffee as he recalled all those names from the roster, "I only personally know Ava and Eshen from that lot. Eshen will probably bring one of his ten significant others, or whatever's goin' on there." Ferengi were monogamous, unless you paid them not to be.

2

“Oh, wow, okay. I don’t know him that well. Yet,” said Mika, raising her eyebrows slightly. So, Eshen was not monogamous? Well whatever, she hadn’t really thought about it, it didn’t matter to her. It wasn’t like she wanted to date him, she just wanted to befriend him. (Not that he wasn’t attractive.) “I just know he’s pretty friendly and helped me find some rats in the tubes. Did that report get to you or just pest control, by the way? Whidbey shot one. Heartbreaking.” She blew on her coffee and then took a sip. Hmmm. She would not be falling asleep early tonight, running on so much caffeine, but it was totally worth it.

"Yeah, we took care of it." But how? Lethally or nonlethally? We will never know. Mo also sipped his alpacoffee. He was actually very much enjoying it, though of course he'd enjoyed her food as well. "Pity. I quite like little critters. When I build my own coffee machine, maybe you'd like to come over and see Bandit again?" And his rubber ducky isopods! (edited)

Oh, shit, he was inviting her to his quarters for coffee and Bandit petting (no innuendo)?! This felt like she’d just levelled up their friendship, or something. Achievement unlocked. “I… would like to, yeah,” she said and nodded, only a little bit fazed by the fact that he’d actually invited her. I mean, it wasn’t so far-fetched, after all she’d invited him, too, why shouldn’t he return the favour? But still. “But only once you’ve got a coffee machine. As much as I enjoy your company, I’ve had to drink enough replicated coffee for a whole lifetime during my time in sickbay.” Chats with Mo? Yes, please. Shit coffee? No, thanks.

Perhaps Mo shouldn't have offered, but aside from a few others, one of the strongest urges a person can experience is 'come see my pet'. "That sounds like a good deal t'me. I'll message you when it's done. Bring the alpaca milk." Then he looked around. "Huh. Guess we're almost finished. Sorry again that I didn't eat all of it, but, uh, tell Ava to enjoy it for me?" He still felt bad about it, although his pea-sized stomach did feel full for once, which was nice.

2

Mika shook her head slightly at his apology. He needn’t feel sorry for things that weren’t his fault. “Don’t apologise, and I will,” she said with a small nod and then she took another sip of coffee, before continuing, “Thank you for coming, especially with all the stuff you have on your plate - uh, figuratively.” She smiled at her own accidental pun. She didn’t actually know what kinda stuff he figuratively had on his plate. Though she’d like to ask, there were probably a lot of things he couldn’t just openly chat about, concerning his job. Besides, she didn’t want to pry or make him feel like she was just hanging out with him to get to know more about his work. Actually, quite the opposite was the case; though it was certainly practical to have a friend in high command who could answer professional questions about captaincy, Mika found herself much more interested in Mo himself, rather than his position. “It’s always nice talking to you. Next time I might teach you how to cook.” Brutally, like fucking Gordon Ramsay. Just kidding. …unless? (edited)

2

"Alright. Lookin' forward to gettin' roasted more than the food will be." He gulped down his coffee - it was good - then stood up. Now was the appropriate time to go, right? He always felt like it wasn't quite enough with her, somehow. "Don't worry about my schedule. I can't promise I won't ever get caught up in things, but I do make an effort to organise my life around my job." He cleared his throat. "Guess I'll be off." Then he made his way to the door, unless she had any last things she wanted to say or do.

He probably would be getting roasted more than the food. Mika would probably pick out a difficult recipe on purpose and let him face the final boss of cooking: onion cutting! Or maybe she’d be nice and pick out something easy, make tacu tacu with him or something. Either way, she was looking forward to it! When he stood up, she set down her cup and did the same. Without really meaning to, she said, “You…” She cut herself off. What was she gonna say? ‘You should visit more often’? ‘You look good in that shirt’? ‘You’re the best friend I’ve had in a long time and please don’t feel bad about not eating so much’? “PADD me sometime, Mo,” she ended up saying, as she walked him to the door. “We still need to play monopoly. Maybe we can combine it with meeting Bandit again.” (edited)

3

"Oh, that's a good idea." She'd steal half the pieces, but that would make it more fun as far as he was concerned. "By the way... you can call me Mephis." He gave her one last subtle smile. "A'ight, I'm dismissed." Then he walked out the sliding door.

2

3

Mika blinked. She couldn’t really reply anything, he was already out the door. Damn short legs, but quick strides! “Mephis,” she repeated, to herself, just because she could. Huh. Another friendship level up! It was… new, but not entirely, because she had used his first name before. On the holodeck, though, in the confines of their little unprofessional bubbles. In a way, they were still stuck in bubbles, right? They only ever really interacted when nobody else was looking. But who was she to complain? Mephis. She’d made a friend on the station and he let her call him Mephis, as in: the literal devil’s nickname, and he was the station commander. Sure. Perfectly normal thing to happen to her. Not something she should overthink, in any case. Mika turned her back on the door and started tidying the place, finished her coffee, put the empty plates away, put Mo’s - Mephis’ - mug into the recycler, and eventually she messaged Ava, so that the half-Vulcan could come grab the leftover food.

1

3

Namika was sitting on her bed, strumming her guitar. It was late, she’d had a nice day doing some simple shuttle runs and then spending time with Allan in the skate pool. She was high on three hash brownies, which wasn’t a lot to be honest, but it was enough to make her mind a little fuzzy in that nice way. She was just considering recording some stuff and sending it to Mephis for music projects. But then, her little guitar jam out session was interrupted by a ring of the doorbell…

3

Isaac was restless. He stared at the name etched into the door: ‘GREY’ He’d once considered himself practically a part of the Grey family. Namika’s parents had loved him, or at least her mother and her brother had - her father had tolerated and accepted him, which was about the best thing anyone could wish for when it came to Kanye Grey. Isaac was tall and broad shouldered, basically built like a brick wall. He liked working out, even though it made crawling through the Jeffrey’s tubes a little difficult sometimes. He had a friendly, freckled face and green eyes, rarely seen without the glitter of a smile. Right now, though, he was worrying his lip between his teeth. He was holding on to a bag in his hands, holding it in front of his body like a shield, waiting for someone to open the door.

Namika willed herself up from her bed, discarding her guitar on the mattress. She headed for the door. She was dressed in sweatpants (and it was pretty nice to have something that was so airy around the legs, she was considering that shorts petition) and a wide black t-shirt. Her hair was still held back with a headband, like it had been in the sports stadium. She opened the door, wondering who would visit at such an hour — and then time stuttered to a halt for a second, as if her world has stopped turning for a second. Isaac. Isaac with his curly brown hair, wearing a green crop top that suited him, and a pair of jeans. She stared at him as if he were some sort of ghosts.

Isaac stared back. For the fraction of a moment, he glanced down at Mika’s bare legs and the floral motive tattoo on her right shin. Then, he quickly drew his line of sight back up to her eyes behind the glasses. “Hey,” he said, and oh, my god, this was so awkward.

Namika blinked at him before breaking eye contact, shaking her head. “I’m not high enough for this shit,” she mumbled and ran a hand through her dark hair.

He’d kind of missed that raspy, low voice, even when she sounded like she was annoyed with him. It wasn’t like he still had feelings for her, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t miss her. Just because they hadn’t worked out didn’t mean he wouldn’t have wanted them to work out. “Sorry,” he said, and then held out the bag. “I just wanted to drop off some stuff. Yours.” Stuff that he’d found amongst his own things. A pair of socks with avocados on them, a bottle of nail polish, a hairbrush, a t-shit that still smelled of her and he’d spent way too long thinking about that.

“Ah,” said Mika and she sounded 50% done with this shit and 50% grateful. “Thanks.” She took the bag from his hands and threw a glance inside. “I was looking for that hairbrush.” Was she just saying that to overplay the tension? Yes.

Isaac just kind of Stood There and looked down at her and tried not to think about how he used to greet her with a kiss. “How…” He hesitated, but then decided to ask anyways. “How have you been?”

Namika clenched her teeth and kept looking at the bag. “Isaac…” Jesus, saying his name felt like an elephant had decided to sit down on her fragile, flat chest. “Do we really want to do the whole fucking small talk shit?”

“Sorry, I just…” Isaac sighed. “I don’t wanna pretend I don’t care about you. I’m sorry you transferred for me, I’m sorry it didn’t work out, I’m sorry you’re stuck here, and…”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me!” She rolled her eyes and turned around, tossing the bag at the couch in the common room. “Listen, I’m doing okay, alright? We both agreed we wanted to break off contact.” She looked at him again, even though that cost a lot of willpower.

“I know, I just wanted…” to stay friends. Yeah. Illusory. Silly of him. “Never mind.”

3

Namika pulled a face and stared at him. She was this close to sending him on his way again, but the high and fuzzy part of her brain was very much concerned for his wellbeing and she said, “Uh. How have you been, though?”

“Fine,” he said. In fact, he enjoyed this posting a lot! He was happy that he’d transferred, and he’d immediately found friends, as usual. He was a likeable guy and he enjoyed his work. Isaac frowned, though. Hadn’t she just said that she didn’t want to do ‘the whole fucking small talk shit’? A bit contradictory. She only ever spoke like that, when she was… “Are you high right now?”

“No,” said Namika, too quickly and too loudly and she added an awkward laugh. Ugh, she knew that she was bad at lying! “Maybe. None of your fucking business.”

The engineer knew that his ex-girlfriend occasionally consumed hash. He also knew that Mika was usually careful with that stuff. He also knew that bespoke carefulness could be broken by extreme emotional distress. “You didn’t smoke it, though, did you?” His voice was coloured by something harsher now, concern and maybe a hint of critique. If she started smoking again because of the break up, Isaac would be mad - mad at himself and at her.

Namika frowned and looked extremely offended. “No! Anyways, so what if I had smoked it?! It’s none of your business what I do with my life now that you’re gone.”

Isaac frowned right back. “Yes, it is. If you started smoking again because of me - because of this breakup - I’d never forgive myself, and you know that, Mika.”

Mika scoffed. “I’m careful, okay? I won’t relapse. I didn’t love you that bad.” The very second the words had left her lips, she regretted them. That was… harsh. Shit.

3

’I didn’t love you that bad.’ Ouch. That did hit Isaac like a slap in the face. He knew that both of them had fallen out of love, but Namika was saying that she hadn’t even loved him before they’d fallen out of love. Now, that couldn’t be true. They had been in love, she was just saying that because she was high and angry and… Isaac felt his eyes welling up. Unlike Mika, he did cry sometimes. “Wow,” he muttered drily. “You really are charming, you know that?” And you know how it is in arguments like this. Someone says something wrong, something just a little too harsh. And then the other person counters with something that’s also a little too harsh. “No wonder you’re bad at maintaining relationships.”

4

Namika clenched her teeth. Yeah, bad at maintaining relationships. Like how she’d cut the ties with Rayan when she’d left for SFA. Like how she’d gotten out of touch with her Academy friends. Mika felt anger. “Finally, he says it! I was never good enough for you, was I?!”

3

“That’s not what I said!”, protested Isaac.

“No, no, all of your shitty friends were right when they said I wasn’t good for you,” said Mika and she felt things bubbling to the surface that she hadn’t known were even there inside of her. “I wasn’t! You were the good guy, and I was just the skinny little shuttle pilot with a nicotine addiction that you wanted to fix so badly!”

3

Isaac groaned. “That’s not true! I wanted what’s best for you!”

“Yeah, because that’s what you always want, Isaac! You always want to help everyone, always wanna be friends with every fucking person you meet. You know, I’m sick of that shit. You never tell people what you really think about them, because you’re so worries about messing up your good reputation!”

2

Isaac wasn’t usually one to get angry easily. But this was ticking him off. He’d come here to drop off some stuff and check in with her, but now she was personally attacking him. “Oh, you wanna know what I really think about you?”

2

“By all means! Go the fuck ahead!” Mika met his eyes daringly.

4

5

4

“I think you’re- you’re so goddamn obsessed with your stupid captaincy goal and you pity yourself so much for your past! You think death follows you around, but the truth is, you’re the one who can’t stop chasing after any form of danger!”, he said, feeling breathless all of a sudden. Woah, why did it feel so good to finally get this out of his system? “You don’t even stop to think about what your recklessness does to the people who are close to you! You think I wasn’t worried for you during that one mission with the pilots? You think Rico doesn’t worry for his sister - who lives in space, for God’s sake - every goddamn day?! Your mother is terrified to lose you to this goddamn job, and you don’t even notice!”

4

Namika scoffed, staring at her ex in disbelief. Her heard dropped into the pit of her stomach. “You- Fuck! You don’t get anything, do you?! You think I wasn’t running for my goddamn life when I entered Starfleet academy?? Alejandro fucking killed himself last month, and you know exactly I wasn’t exactly in a better place. I wasn’t looking for danger, I was looking for an escape!” [TW: suicide]

3

“That’s your problem, Mika! You’re always so fearless to meet death, but you keep running away from the people who are close to you! That’s why you left Peru, that’s why you left your family behind. You ever contacted any of your old friends from the Tyrga in your time here?”

Namika fumbled for words for a moment. She was so angry, all she managed to do was open and close her mouth like a fucking fish for a couple of seconds before finally she managed to speak. “You have the audacity to tell me I don’t care about my relationships, when I’ve literally left the Tyrga just for you, for us, Isaac!”

3

“That was different. You and I both know you didn’t follow me to 777 because you loved me. You followed me to make up for that feeling in your chest that told you you weren’t in love with me anymore. You followed me because you felt bad about falling out of love.”

3

“That’s not true! That’s not- that’s not true… I… No!” Namika’s voice was failing her, cracking and breaking when she needed it to be firm. He was right, though. He was right. She hadn’t really followed him because she’d thought they could make it work. Internally, she’d already known that they wouldn’t last. She’d come along anyway. Because she’d felt obligated to.

2

Isaac was crying. Maybe he was shedding the tears she was unable to shed. Maybe he was making up for her lack of tears, yeah. Mika hated crying and he knew. “Mika,” he said, his vision going blurry. He blinked.

“No…” She didn’t meet his eyes, she held on to the doorframe and stared at the floor as though that would make anything better.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet now. It hit him that he’d said terrible things. Finally they’d thrown the knives at each other that they’d always tried to avoid throwing. “You don’t have to feel bad for falling out of love with me,” he muttered, “I’m not angry anymore.”

In other words: He’d forgiven her. “I am,” said Mika bitterly. “I am angry for falling out of love with you.”

Isaac smiled through the tears. “I know. You’re always angry, goth girl.”

3

She chuckled, even though she low key felt like screaming. God, it had been a long time since he’d called her that. He used to say that before they were together. When they’d been friends. “Fuck…” She was halfway between slapping him across the face and hugging him. “That was long overdue, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah… I’m sorry, I- I know you care about your family. I didn’t mean-“

Namika shook her head. “It’s okay. You’re right. You’re right, I followed you because I felt bad and I left Peru, because I was running away, but you know where you are wrong?” She looked up at him.

2

“Where?”, he asked and felt lighter out of a sudden. Finally, it was all out in the open, or at least it was about to be. They’d needed this, both of them.

“I do stop to think about the people I care about. I still think about you. I think about Rico every day, every shuttle run I do.”

3

Isaac huffed and smiled down at her. “I’m sorry about what I said about maintaining relationships. I know you never mean to break anything.” He wiped some tears off his cheeks.

“Apology accepted,” said Mika and wondered why she never cried.

“Did…” Isaac hesitated. He was scared to ask. “Alejandro really…”

Namika nodded. The thought alone made her want to throw up. “Yeah, he did. Cocaine…”

“Shit. I’m so sorry…”

Namika shook her head. “I hadn’t talked to him in a long while anyway. Bad at maintaining relationships, as you know.”

“You’re not, Mika. You’re… Hey, can I ask something stupid?”

“I mean we’ve both said a lot of stupid and angry things tonight, so why not?”

Isaac’s green eyes found hers. “Can we… stay friends? I know you’re not bad at maintaining friendships and I… I would like to try, at least.”

2

Namika was hesitant to say yes. Was this really the way to get over a failed relationship? Maybe. She didn’t know. But he looked so hopeful… “I’m glad you feel that way, but… I need space. And time. And… something, I’m not yet sure.”

2

Isaac nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Just… now you know. Take care of yourself, okay? I guess I’ll… go now.” He turned to leave. (edited)

“Hey, Isaac-“

He turned around again.

“I did love you. I loved you so much. I’m sorry I don’t anymore.” Her voice felt even more coarse than usually.

Isaac gave her a sad smile. And then he said something that he hadn’t really gotten to say to her after the breakup. “Goodbye, Namika.”

She let out a breath. “Bye…” And maybe that was the closure she’d needed.

1