If that was some sort of weird ghost quirk, Allan had forgotten all about it. There was too much else to focus on right now. Notably, that she was now telling him that he was... careless and - couldn't accept an apology. He was speechless for a while, looking down and feeling the warm feeling of his tears falling down his face. His chest was tightening like a fist had closed around his ribs. Held in place by some sort of heavy, invisible force. He swallowed in some sort of effort to prevent himself from outright sobbing, but it wasn't very useful when he started speaking.
"Yeah," he finally got out, "...yeah, God, you're right, I... I was, yeah, wasn't I, I... careless, yeah. Yeah, I should've been more - I should've, you know, checked again, I - I, but I didn't, and I didn't, and now you're-" his voice cracked, and he bent forward slightly, shaking some as he tried to get the rest of his words out. "I killed you. I swear to God, I never meant to be... careless, with you, I... it replays all the time, T'Alea, in my - in my head, it goes, and every time, it's always the same, I forget something, I miss something, I ruin, I k- fuck, I-" he put a hand to his mouth and shook his head quickly, "I don't know how to live with it. I don't. I can't fix it, I can't take it back, and I - I really.. I loved you more than anything, and all I gave you... was... this," the last word came out as a whisper, quickly replaced by a sob. Seemed the words were out, now.
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